Page 33 of Thank you, Next
“I was?” Now that they were face-to-face, she remembered being irritated and telling him to suck on a bag of dicks. But that was because he’d broken up with her right before they were supposed to go to Bali for the three weeks after her fall term exams. “That was probably mostly about the trip.”
“You always were kind of cold like that.” He nodded. “I think that was mostly what attracted me to you. You didn’t demand a whole lot from me. Not at first.”
“Are you saying that I was easy?” None of this was the way she remembered things. She’d tried so hard not to need James. He was the kind of man, even back then, before he became as famous as he was now, who was like a planet. The people around him were the satellites. The best one could hope for when being with a man like James was that you could be a moon. You might get to gaze at him half the time and affect his gravitational pull. But you weren’t the sun. You could never be the sun.
“Oh no, I remember you made me work for everything I got with you.” He looked down into his champagne glass before lifting it to his full lips, and she remembered why she’d fucked him even though he didn’t have a box spring in the house he’d shared with, like, five other young actors. “I just thought that if I got in your pants, you’d give me something else.”
It was Alex’s turn to laugh derisively. “You’re honestly telling me that you wanted my heart?”
He gave her the puppy-dog eyes. Those were probably kryptonite to most women, but Alex had known him since before the whole world knew the puppy-dog eyes. It wasn’t to say that they weren’t genuine, but they got him what he wanted. He wouldn’t use them if they didn’t. And the circumstances of his life were such that people catered to him. The puppy-dog eyes weren’t necessary anymore, but they were almost a reflex.
Will never gave her puppy-dog eyes. There was a steely determination in his gaze that rarely faltered. He might be susceptible to puppy-dog eyes or seductive glances, but he wasn’t giving them out. Will himself was sort of the seduction. But it wasn’t flashy the way James’s was.
She needed to stop comparing the men she’d dated to Will. It wasn’t like she could phone James out of the blue and ask him her questions next week, once she’d successfully sublimated her attraction to Will again. She needed to focus and get her answers now.
“Did you ever really want my heart?” Alex didn’t remember having deep conversations with James. They’d had some romantic moments, but he’d never asked her about how she felt about her family situation. That was a lie. He’d once asked her why she hadn’t decided to take up acting or singing like Lexi—given that nepotism was a leg up in the entertainment business, and James couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t take that leap. “You never really knew me.”
He looked her up and down like she was a full snack. Alex couldn’t help but feel the ghost of the flutter that she’d felt the first time he’d looked at her like that. There was a reason that he was a big star. The looks, the charisma, the ability to project what other people most wanted to feel about themselves.
“What was dating me like?” Alex couldn’t believe that she’d never asked one of her exes that question point-blank. All her exes had cited circumstances instead of actual values, and it was the values that broke most people up. She should know, given what she did for a living.
James looked down, and she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Probably nothing good. The longer he paused, the more she was seeing the sense in Will’s suggestion that she give all this up and just move on without investigating.
“It was kind of like when I was training to play Major Maximus.” Alex furrowed her brow at him, so he added, “It’s like after a training session, when I was empty and hollowed out and then right after my blazing-hot shower, my trainer made me sit in an ice bath.”
“So I made your balls shrivel up?” This was terrible for her ego.
James laughed again. “You always were direct. That’s what I meant. Dating you was painful, but also sort of refreshing.”
“But you didn’t want that for the long term?” It sounded like James didn’t want to be with anyone who would tell him the truth about his shit. And Alex could never be with anyone who expected her to lie to them.
“Not back then.”
She was on the cusp of asking if he wanted it now when she felt Will’s presence behind her. It was funny that she could tell that it was him and not any of the other hundred or so people at the party. She didn’t know if it was because she could pick up his smell or what. She didn’t want to think about that.
“We’re trying to have a conversation here.” Alex didn’t have to turn around, and she knew that didn’t go over well when Will made a noise that she’d never heard from him before.
Will growled—not like his usual nonverbal grumbling, but an actual growl.
Alex knew she needed to smooth things over so that Will didn’t punch a face that she was sure was insured for several million dollars. She didn’t understand why he was acting like this. For as long as they’d known each other, almost half his life, she’d been a huge pain in his ass. And now he was growling at movie stars?
“James, this is Will Harkness. He’s... a family friend,” Alex said, trying to sound as breezy as possible. When Will didn’t come farther into the room or say anything, she added, “I wish I could say that he’s usually more effusive, but that would ruin my record of never lying to you.”
“Champagne?” James lifted the half-empty bottle before returning his gaze to Alex. “Are you guys, like, together?”
At the same time that Alex said, “Absolutely not,” Will said, “Nope,” in a way that was sort of offensively decisive. It wasn’t as though it would be inconceivable for them to get together. No one had ever made her put a bag over her head during sex.
“Do either of you need anything else? Uppers? Downers?” James stood up and approached a cabinet where she presumed he stored his drugs.
“I’m good. I think I’m officially too old for cocaine.”
Will grunted again. It was a “no” grunt.
James nodded sagely. “Cool, cool, cool. I’m going out to smoke a cigarette.”
“You should really quit. It’s bad for your face, and that’s the moneymaker.” Alex knew then that she wouldn’t have accepted the date she was almost sure that James was going to offer. They were way too old to still be smoking.
James pointed at her with finger guns that made Alex cringe. “See? Honest! I love it.” He walked out the door. “Feel free to talk things out. If you need the drugs”—he pointed at his stash—“they’re right over there.”