Page 140 of Merciless

I’ve tried to forget it all. Shove it all down so deep that I never have to think about any of it again.

But it never goes completely away. Not really. Some faces, names, and voices are clearer than others.

But I know this one.

And the knowledge that he’s still doing the same shit to young girls out there makes me sick to my stomach.

“Dove?” JD whispers, sensing that something huge is happening.

“Die,” I spit, my voice firm and sure, exactly the opposite of how I feel right now.

Reaching into the pocket of his sweats, Reid produces a flip knife.

Without second-guessing myself, I reach for it, flip the blade out and with a roar that doesn’t sound anything like me, I lunge at the man, stabbing him in the chest.

I must hit something important because blood sprays out from the wound, coating me in an instant. The warm liquid seeps into JD’s tank and runs down my arms and chest.

With another scream, I repeat my previous actions.

I do it again, and again and again, until I have nothing left. I fall in a heap on the floor, the knife clattering beside me.

My body trembles violently as a sob rips from my throat.

Pain like I’ve never experienced before slices through me. But it’s more than just pain because there is relief too. A lot of it.

I’ve done it.

I’ve taken a monster off the streets —kind of—and stopped him from hurting anyone else.

It might only be the first step in everything Mav and I planned. But I’ve done it.

What I’ve done. The true reality of it is nowhere in sight.I’m numb. Totally fucking numb.

I don’t even realize I’m moving until a warm torrent of water rains down on me.

I blink as reality comes back to me and shake my head in confusion at the set of eyes that are watching me closely.

I squirm but discover exactly what I thought.

I’m in Reid Harris’s arms.

“What are you doing?” I whisper, my voice barely audible.

“You did so good, Pet.” I blink up at him, trying to remember what just happened.

I look down, watching in fascination as the water washes the red away from my chest and arms.

The vision of the bloodied man in that cell comes back to me and everything begins to crash around me.

“I killed him,” I cry. “I killed him.”

Shoving my face into Reid’s bare chest, I scream as the tears burning my eyes spill free.

I don’t even know why I’m crying.

Horror. Relief. Joy.

Or a mix of all three.