Page 47 of Created in Chaos
“No can do, Nox.” She shakes her head. “I’m tired of trusting people. Tired of always getting hurt. You people can have your war without me. I never belonged here.”
“Nova.” I jump down two steps, getting up in her face. “I promise you that wasn’t what you think.” I’m about two seconds away from grabbing hold of her arm and dragging her with me to make her see reason.
“I don’t care. I don’t. I’m sure you’ll both have a pretty excuse, but it doesn’t change anything. You both kept something from me, deceived me, even if it isn’t the fact that Lucian is going to be with her. I can’t pretend it’s okay just because you’re good at pretending I mean something to you.”
“You do mean something, you mean everything,” I whisper, looking out behind her to make sure no one else is watching us.
“I’ve never been that delusional.” She snorts. “I’m going to leave now, and you’re going to let me.”
“No, I’m not.” I move even closer, ready to grab her.
“Yes, you will, because despite that emptiness inside you, you’re not mean or cruel.”
I swallow thickly at her words.
Nova reaches up and touches my cheek gently, then adds, “But most importantly, if you don’t, I will tell everyone standing down there that I love you, that you made me love you, and it will ruin both of your futures. No more next in line for Lucian. No more domination of Cadieux. Your name will forever be sullied, and you would never do that to him.” Her hand drops away while I still reel from her confession of loving me. It doesn’t matter that she said it to hurt me, because her confession rings true, and I can barely breathe because of it. It’s not the threat of her outing me that has me frozen, it’s the pain in her eyes, deep in her soul.
When I blink, she’s halfway down the stairs, another blink, and she’s escaping out the side door. The second it shuts behind her, I inhale, trying to get the tightness in my chest to loosen, but it doesn’t. Everything feels wrong.
My phone buzzes, and I’m surprised I have the dexterity to pull it from my pocket and put it to my ear. “What the fuck is wrong?” Lucian snarls through the line, sensing my distress.
“She’s gone,” I say, telling him the only thing that matters.
NOX
“What the fuck do you mean, she’s gone?”
“She saw you with Grace.”
“What?”
“I tried to explain.”
“Apparently not fucking hard enough, since she’s not there. How could you let her leave?”
“You didn’t see her face,” I defend.
“And yours is about to be bloody. Where the fuck is she?”
“I don’t know. I’ll find her.” I hop down the stairs. I don’t care about his threat to me, but my concern for Nova and the thought of actually losing her finally gets me moving.
“You fucking better, and I don’t care what she says or how she looks. Strap her ass to a goddamn chair if you need to and make her listen. Call me as soon as you have her. I need to finish this shit.” He ends the call without another word.
I push out the same exit door she did and scan the side of the school, coming up empty. She doesn’t have a car here, but I head to the parking lot anyway, because I don’t think she would just hang around campus. She’s probably looking for a way off the island, and Nova has to know we would come after her.
When I turn the corner of the building, I catch a glimpse of Nova as she bends down to climb into the backseat of a black car. I don’t know the driver behind the wheel, but I know he’s not one of ours. “Nova!” I call, already running. She pauses just long enough to let me know she heard me, but then moves even faster as she shuts the door, and the car starts to speed off.
Without thinking of the consequences, I step directly into the path of the car. Everything slows down until it feels like the entire world is moving in slow motion. I see the driver’s shocked expression, and Nova’s wide-eyed look of pure terror, but I still don’t make a move to get out of the way of the car. I don’t think it’s going fast enough to kill me, but I’m not looking forward to the pain.
I watch as Nova’s mouth opens to yell, “Stop,” and then her hand comes up to hit the back of the seat in front of her. The screech of tires warns me the car might have been going faster than I thought, but it’s too late now. She’s not leaving this parking lot, and Lucian will take care of her if I can’t.
Her mouth opens again, and she breaks eye contact with me to look at the driver. His head is pushed back against the headrest, giving me the impression he’s hitting the brakes, but I don’t think any of us is confident that he’s going to stop before he hits me.
A scream splits the air and reality snaps back into place. The car is still hurtling toward me. I think about taking a step back, but something keeps me rooted to the spot, something dark and ugly I don’t want to acknowledge, but I have to—thoughts that everyone would be better off without me, that I ruin everything anyway, and finally, acceptance that I’m the person responsible for my parents’ deaths.
Shouldn’t I die too?
The Mercedes jerks to a halt inches from my legs. Belatedly, I reach forward and plant my hands on the hood. “Get out of the car, Nova,” I croak out, stunned I can even form words.