Page 9 of Created in Chaos
I jump out of the driver’s seat and open the rear passenger door for her to get in. She gives me a tiny, appreciative smile after pulling herself up and out of the chair, then climbs into the car gingerly. While some of her bruising has begun to fade, I know she’s still hurting, especially her ribs. I’ve had cracked ribs a time or two, and they hurt like a motherfucker, so I get it, but I hate to see her in pain.
Lucian spins the chair around and gives it a little shove as if he can’t be bothered with it anymore since Nova no longer needs it, then he acts as if he’s going to scoot into the seat beside her. “I’m not moving.” She meets his gaze squarely.
I watch the side of my brother’s face, seeing him contemplate his next action. If she were just being stubborn, there would be a battle of wills, but she’s not, and he concedes without a fight, closing the door with a gentle shove, then moving to the front passenger seat.
I’m a little surprised that he didn’t go around and sit next to her but also relieved. I know he means well, but his dogged attention can be overwhelming.
I keep an eye on Nova through the rearview mirror on the ride home and make sure to take the turns slowly so she doesn’t get too jostled. By the time we approach the bridge to the island, she has her head back against the seat and her eyes closed. I know she’s not sleeping, but I take the fact that she’s relaxed as a good sign.
She shouldn’t be surprised when I turn left and sequester her behind our property walls. Lucian has been vocal about her returning here with us, but I check on her anyway. She notices the security staff milling about right away. I watch her head turn to view two of the guards near the gate, which is a recent development.
The truth is, we’ve gotten a little lax with security in the past few years. We’ve come to take things for granted because we’re isolated on the island and assumed that our name and the consequences of what would happen to anyone who fucked with us would be enough of a deterrent, but it wasn’t. It doesn’t matter that we hadn’t officially claimed Nova. She’s a founder, and that should have been enough to make sure she was safe, not to mention Lucian said she was off-limits, and someone had the nerve to leave her for dead in that bathroom, meaning they didn’t heed his warning. There will be hell to pay for what they did to our girl.
“It would be easier if you took me to the Umbras’ estate,” Nova says, speaking for the first time since leaving the hospital.
“How so?” Lucian asks while exiting the car to open the rear door after I pull up near the side entrance.
“It would just be easier.” She places her hand over his proffered palm and allows him to help her get out.
“I don’t agree. The Umbras and all their people are already on my nerves, and I’m not even looking at them. If I had to see their faces all the time, I don’t think I could hold back.”
“Why would you need to see their faces? And hold back from what?” she asks conversationally as he walks slowly beside her to the side door, giving her ample time on the steps. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my brother have this much patience with anyone.
“Come on now, do you think I’m going to let you out of my sight? I’d have to be there with you. We’ll be more comfortable here, and our house is better anyway. Everything here is better. Plus, every time I turn around, you’re getting harassed, and I’m so over that shit.”
“Usually, I’m being harassed by you,” she mutters under her breath.
Lucian ignores the jab and answers the other part of her question about holding back. “Killing them isn’t off the table.”
Nova stops short after entering the house. “That’s what you’re refraining from? Killing them?”
“Among other things,” he tells her without issue. I suppose it’s better if she understands from the beginning just how serious he is, so it doesn’t come as a surprise later.
“You should probably get some help.”
“No, I’m totally capable of handling them on my own.” He purposely misunderstands her, and she just shakes her head in response. “Come on, Gertrude had someone make up one of the rooms down here for us, so you don’t have to worry about the stairs.” He redirects her down the hall, as if he didn’t just tell her he’s actively restraining himself from killing her family.
NOVA
Sometimes, there are these moments in life that shake you to your core, and you know the world has shifted on its axis, but no one else around you seems to react to it. I’ve only experienced it a few times—the day I woke up in the hospital and found out my parents were both dead, the day I left our trailer and moved into the crummy apartment closer to the city so I could get a better paying job, and the day Mr. Haynsworth knocked on my door. I’m facing one of those moments again, and it’s the first time I haven’t been alone to deal with it.
Lucian Morningstar is kneeling at my feet, untying my scuffed sneakers as if I’m as fragile as glass and as treasured as a precious stone, or whatever rich people value. He tips his face up, and those mesmerizing blue eyes I’ve only ever thought of as beautifully cruel catch me watching him.
His features are relaxed, but there’s no hiding the rawness of Lucian. It fills every fragment of his being, and the fact that he embraces it and doesn’t hide who he is from anyone means there’s no fooling yourself when it comes to him. You can’t pretend he’s a good guy under his gruff exterior. The fact that he’s not and never will be is in your face, just like his unrefined appeal, forcing you to swallow it down and accept him for who he is.
I want to touch him, even though I know it’s dumb, and I’m just as likely to pull back a bloody stump as I am to be granted a kiss from his perfect lips. That alone should make me reconsider, but it doesn’t.
My heart beats faster just from being around him. I feel more alive when he’s near me, and everything feels amplified by his presence. I forget how dangerous he is when he’s looking at me like this, like I’m the answer to the question he didn’t ask, or the enigma he can’t walk away from without turning it inside out to see why it’s so intriguing.
Knowing all this, and the fact that Lucian Morningstar will probably leave me irrevocably broken, I still can’t make myself put any real effort into pushing him away.
My head spins with the sudden realization of how badly I want him to want me and accept me as I am. I also recognize my willingness to accept him, thorns and all. A wave of dizziness has me swaying to the left, and he reaches up to steady me with a look of concern. “Do you need to lie down?”
I shake my head because words seem too complex for me at the moment, and I’m afraid if I open my mouth, he’ll know exactly what I’m thinking and use it against me.
His tattooed hand lifts to cradle my cheek, and I’m helpless not to lean into his touch. I shield my eyes by lowering my lids, knowing I’m conveying just how desperate I am for the affection, but at least now I might not have to see his triumph reflected back at me. How could I fall for the lion? It’s stupid and risky. I know how badly this will end, and yet here I am, breathless because he’s looking at me, and if I’m honest, there’s a part of me that’s thrilled he vowed to protect me. How could I not be awed by that?
“Everything good?” Nox questions, giving me a chance to pull away from Lucian and pretend like I didn’t just expose my soft underbelly to the king of the jungle.