Page 91 of The Jester and His Outlaw: Part 2

The nurse drops, her blonde hair flying behind her as her body crumples to the ground. Jensen drops to help her as everyone else ducks, everyone but Chandler. He holds his gun steady and fires off two shots in quick succession. One slices through Jonas’ forearm, causing him to release his hold on the gun. The other pierces his heart.

Jonas’ shoulder jerks back as he freezes. Death registers and his face pales, his eyes going wide as they go from his chest to Charley. His brows furrow and he gasps for breath to form words as a trickle of blood colors the corner of his mouth. Both hands come to his chest to staunch the flow of blood, but it only coats his fingers, mixing with the crimson already pouring from the hole in his arm.

“I faile… y—you.” His words come out garbled and if he wasn’t a fucking psycho talking to my girl, I’d think they were actually sort of sweet, nice parting words for someone. Outlaw winces as she looks at him, the shock of what is happening, watching someone die, weighing on her.

The urge to scream, to tell her not to watch the gory scene, hits me hard, but she wouldn’t hear me anyway.

I want to pull her into my arms, hold her tight, and never let go.

I want to tell her that everything is okay because we’re together.

But we’re not together. She let me go and while I understand why she did, because I tried for the longest time to push her away, I still can’t accept it. That’s why I’m here in the first place, to convince her I’m not giving up,ever.She can’t get rid of me that easily.

But when my gaze lands on her, in the quick moment it takes Jonas to fall, in this moment of relief when we all realize that it’s over, I’m not the one she’s looking for.

His big frame topples to the floor and his eyes stare blankly at the ceiling.

Chandler enters the room first, kicking the gun well away from Jonas even though it’s clear he won’t be going for it again. Jensen scoops the nurse up, who’s bleeding from her hip, her scrubs stained. I bet she didn’t expect this to happen when she got up to go to work today. He carries her into the hallway, screaming for help.

“The shooter is down,” he announces, and a pile of white coats and scrubs descend upon them in an instant.

She’ll be fine. If anyone is going to get shot, this is the perfect place for it.

My eyes stay locked on Outlaw, but she refuses to turn my way. She isn’t crying, showing no emotion, but her heart rate is through the roof. Her skin is pale, her freckles disappearing in the light of her cheeks.

I’m frozen. I can’t move. By her side is where I want to be, but she won’t even give me those eyes. I said I wouldn’t give up on her because I knew it wasn’t what she wanted, what I wanted, but in this moment, the one she seeks for comfort is Kai, not me.

He’s by her side, taking her in his arms the best he can without hurting her.

“Are you okay?” he asks as he backs away and checks her over. “Did he hurt you? What the fuck happened? What did he want?” She stumbles through her words, fumbling over which question to answer first before she breaks and sobs explode from her, some in relief, some in sadness and fear.

All of them not in my arms where I can comfort her.

My chest aches a little more as each one of her tears falls. I back myself up and watch the girl that has my heart, the other half of my soul, all of my love, not need me. I watch her succumb to the shock of what just happened in the arms of someone else. My back meets the wall, holding me up because I don’t have the strength to do it myself.

She didn’t ask for me, didn’t seek me out. It’s not like she doesn’t know I’m here. She’s made it a point toavoidmy direction completely, and that hurts so much worse.

I had wholly convinced myself a separation wasn’t what she wanted, but… is it? Is that really what she wants? Have I read our entire relationship wrong?

Just like me—always the fool. I didn’t gain the Jester callsign for no reason.

I gave her my life, my deepest, darkest secrets, and she made me believe like I could because she fought for me relentlessly. She was fucking persistent and now this? When I’ve given my life over to her, embraced her love for me… confessed my own.

Let her in like she begged me to do.

I should’ve known this is how it would turn out.

When she pushed me away, it wasn’t over. I’d be back. But this… this is so final. Why is it as if there is no fight to fight?

Maybe this isn’t the right time. Kai is her brother, the one that has always protected her. It makes sense that she would want his comfort. I try to convince myself of that, but in my heart I know. I know it’s over and a stronger man would walk out of this room and let her go, but I’m not that man.

I’m going to break right here because I’m fucking selfish and apparently want her to see my heart ache. I want her to see the way I’ll fall apart without her, for her to know just how much she’s hurting me.

“You’re safe now, Riggs,” she says and when I chance a glance up, she’s finally looking at me, but it doesn’t ease my pain, only adds to it. When I finally see her hazel gemstone eyes, there is nothing but pain and shame when she looks at me. “It’s all over. You’re safe now,” she mutters, and I fully grasp the double meaning behind those words.

It’s truly over, and this is what she wants. There is nothing I can do and I don’t need to hurt her. Leaving is the only thing that is going to help her, not having me here.

Kai’s eyes flick to mine, filled with sorrow and pity.