Page 101 of Merciless Sinner
“Good.” He speaks in a softer voice. “Now I want you to imagine yourself surrounded by a ball of light. A bright, bright ball of light that surrounds everything you can see. Can you see it?
I think of sunshine and insert myself into the light.
“I'm there,” I tell him.
“It's very important that you know that this light is a safe space. Nothing bad can happen to you while you're there. Nothing at all. Do you understand me?”
“Yes.”
“In this ball of light, you are completely safe, so I want you to repeat the memory you just told me, but I want you to put yourself there.” His voice soothes me, and I take myself to the memory as if it’s a real place. “Look at everything around you, and take in all the sights, smells, feels, everything. Now tell me what you see.”
I repeat the memory. By the time I get to the end, where Virgo kisses me, I expect something different to happen, but nothing does.
I wait for a while to see if anything changes, but still, nothing happens.
“That's all I see,” I say with disappointment.
“Stay right there, Olivia. Stay right there and wait in that safe space. Holding on to that last memory where Virgo kisses you. While you wait and think of that kiss, I want you to also think of what makes you happy.”
The first thing that comes to my mind as he says that is Virgo. And I think how ironic that is. Weeks ago, I wanted to run from him. Back then, he was darkness and danger to my light. I didn't trust him. Now I do. I've changed so much since I let him in, and it feels hard to imagine my world without him.
A crackle of white light speckles before me, and I feel like I've fallen asleep. Except faces flash before me, then my mind drifts. The faces all jumble together, moving quickly until they're not.
I'm able to pick them apart. I see Cillian first. But his hair is different. It's much shorter in a military crew cut. He's laughing at something I said. We're standing in a garden.
Next to us is Seamus, sitting in a wheelchair. He's bald. Behind him is his wife, Aunt George-Anne.
Mom and Dad walk out to us and say something, but I can't hear the words.
But I know them. I know all of them. I don't have that fog over my mind, and I don't just recognize them from pictures. I know them as my family.
Cillian, Seamus, George-Anne. Mom and Dad. We head into the house my parents just emerged from, but as we go inside, they all disappear from my view as if they were never there.
I search for them, looking around the house as it fades from my view.
“Zayka.” Virgo’s voice helps me find my way. Then suddenly, everything changes, and we’re in his house.
He looks different, too. His smiles come easier than they do now when he sees me. And something inside me pulls me to him. And I'm so happy to see him that I skip into his arms.
He picks me up and kisses me. And I hug him as if I haven't seen him in a hundred years.
“You like the house?” he asks, kissing me.
“I love it,” I answer, hearing myself speak.
“I finished the library. Come and have a look.” He sets me down and ushers me to the library. I smile when I see the beautiful wooden shelves.
There aren't any books on them, but it's still gorgeous.
A mischievous smile lights up Virgo's face, and he takes me to the shelf by the right side of the wall. When I look at it, I realize I was mistaken. There is one book on the shelf. It's mine. My art history book we bought in Florence when I was eighteen. I walk over to it and pick it up.
“My book.” I smile back at him.
“I wanted something here that belonged to you. I bought this house for us, so I thought the best first thing could be a book. That book in particular. And here's to having many more here. Along with you, as soon as possible.”
His words pull on my heart. “Oh, Virgo, thank you so much. But what are we going to do about our families?”
“It doesn't matter.” He nods. “I love you.”