Page 46 of Corrupt Shadows
I can never let them out. If I do, the world will see how evil I am. “I need your help,” I blurt, desperation thick in my voice.
Rosa’s eyes widen, and I quickly clear my throat.
“Sorry, this is unlike me but…” I squeeze my eyes shut as Lorcan’s green eyes penetrate my mind. “I’m losing my mind.”
“It’s easy to feel that way,” he says, clearly not grasping the severity of the situation. Lorcan does not like me being here. My magic especially despises the pastor’s presence, and I fear for him.
Rosa does most of the talking, explaining everything I told her about Lorcan from yesterday. She leaves out my being a witch and Jay being killed, but by the way he’s looking at me, I can tell he senses something deeply troubling. His lips pull into a thin line, the wrinkles at the corners deepening.
He scratches his peppered hair and leans forward, placing his hands on his knees. “When did this start, Evie?”
I squirm but don’t answer. Instead, I blow out a tense breath and try to meet his blue gaze, but I fail.
“It’s okay,” he says, reassuring. “I’m going to help you.”
I want to believe him, but I’ve heard those words before.
We’re going to help you. The people who adopted me said the same when they pulled me from the wreckage the Order left behind.
They only made it worse.
I scratch the scar on my neck, left behind from one of Edward’s experiments.
Rosa chimes in, placing her hand on my shoulder, her fluorescent-green nails shimmering under the light. I relax a little. She always has had a calming effect on me. I don’t think she even realizes she’s doing it, but her magic leaks out of her like a loving, comforting hug. Envy slices through me, but I dismiss the feeling. It’s not her fault she has a beautiful kind of magic when mine is all wrong. It’s why the Order wanted to wipe us out. We’re abominations, taking our powers from the darkness instead of the light. I might be human, but there’s darkness in me, just like the stuff found in the deepest depths of Hell, and it wants to destroy.
I run my hand against my bare neck. Sometimes I wonder if I should kill myself and end it all.
Pain shoots through my head when the thought crosses my mind. My vision fills with stars. I grip the sides of my temples, squeezing as the pressure builds. My brain throbs, as if it’s swelling and my skull can’t contain it.
Hands are on my shoulders, but I can’t tell who they belong to.
Before I can grasp what’s happening, I’m unconscious, slipping into a place where I have no control.
Lorcan’s there. I can sense him, inside my head.
His deep voice slices through my mind. “Stop pretending you’re weak.”
I wish he’d get out of my fucking head.
He’s here, in a mirror, in the fucking church. I hate how he can follow me anywhere. Even here.
When I reopen my eyes, I’m staring at a blood-soaked room. I choke on my gasp, my body running cold. I cover my mouth but jolt when I taste blood, then look at my fingers. Pieces of vein cover my nails, crimson coating my hands and wrists.
I blink rapidly, and the blood fades. The pastor is standing, unharmed, and Rosa is still talking to him.
His eyes meet mine, narrowing in suspicion. “Evie, my child. Is the demon here now?”
The hairs on my arm stand on end. A lump forms in my throat, and everything inside me wants to run out of here.
Lorcan’s voice in my head stops me in my tracks. It’s as if his tone demands obedience. “Tell the pastor and he’s dead tonight.”
“No, I-I’m actually feeling better just being here,” I lie, blinking twice.
Rosa does not seem convinced but thankfully doesn’t say anything.
“Excuse me, but I forgot that I have an appointment.”
Rosa’s eyebrows shoot halfway up her forehead. “This time of night?”