Page 40 of Falling for You
“Yes, but I…” She doesn’t let me finish before she’s off running.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
I definitely know how to hold a grudge. I’m still mad at my dad for telling me the truth about Santa Claus.-Ronnie
Ronnie
I can hear Sawyer shouting my name, but I don’t stop running until I reach my car. I see him narrowing in on me, but I rush into the car and lock the door. The expression on his face is desperate and anxious. He tries to yell something through the window as I speed off. I glance in the rearview mirror. I can see him still standing there, fists clenched, yelling my name.
My dad isn’t home because he’s at the game too. He’ll probably hear about the confrontation between Marissa and I and come racing home. Right now, I just want to be alone.
I flop down on my bed and bury my face in the covers. I sob until I feel sick. Betrayal rips through my heart. I thought Sawyer was different than those guys. I thought I had found a guy who wouldn’t lie to me.
Who am I kidding though? I’m a tall, red-headed virgin. What are the chances that a guy like him would ever be interested in someone like me? I replay all of our conversations. He was probably laughing at me the whole time, thinking how easy I was.
My phone dings and I bury my face again. I don’t want to look at it, but then again, I kind of do.
Sawyer:Red, I promise it’s not what you think. I didn’t have anything to do with the bet. I had no part in it.
Me:But you did know about it and you didn’t bother to tell me?
Sawyer:I don’t know why I didn’t tell you about it. Maybe I didn’t want you to think I was like him. I really like you Red. Please don’t let this ruin us.
Me:There is no us.
With those words, I fling my phone across the room. I really don’t want to hear what he has to say right now. He can apologize until the cows come home, but the truth is I feel like an idiot for trusting him.
Sawyer doesn’t take the hint. He sends me texts all night and the next day begging me to give him another chance. Sam comes over that first night and we stuff ourselves with ice cream and chocolate cake. We take turns cursing all men. She threatens to cut off Sawyer’s balls, but I tell her he’s not worth it. All of the tears I cry in front of her don’t convince her of that.
On Sunday night, I get a video of him trying to explain. He’s doesn’t strike me as someone who begs often, so it softens me a bit. On Monday, he sends me a ton of sunflowers because I told him once those were my favorite. My dad gives me a long look after I throw them in the trash.
“Something I need to know about or someone I need to beat up?” he asks. I shake my head and don’t explain anything else. Dad knows better than to ask any more questions.
Tuesday and Wednesday pass without more texts or videos. I know I should breathe a sigh of relief. Instead, I sit around waiting for my phone to ding. When it doesn’t, I throw it in my closet and hide it under clothes, so that I will stop thinking about it. In case you wondered, that doesn’t really work either.
It’s Thursday before Sam finally gets exasperated with my crappy mood. She sits cross-legged on my bed while I angrily flip through a magazine. I gaze down at the models and sigh moodily every once in a while. I feel her judgmental stare and look up.
“What?” I know I sound like a sulky two-year old, but I can’t help it. Everything still hurts inside.
She sighs. “Okay, so for the first day or two, I kind of dug this. Neither one of us has been through a breakup before, so it was fun to have these men-hating moments with my bestie. Rejoice in our womanhood and all that. But now, I’m kind of over it, and frankly you need to just put Sawyer out of his misery, and get on with the relationship y’all were meant to have.”
I blink and stare at her with my mouth open. “You think I should just forgive him? He lied to me. And you told me you wanted to cut his balls off.”
“I was taking the women’s solidarity thing too far. I actually think he’s a nice guy, and I believe him when he says he didn’t have anything to do with the bet. When you think about it, he didn’t lie, he just omitted that he was aware of something. It’s not the worst thing he could have done.”
“You really think I should just go, okay I’m over it, and go back to being all lovey dovey?”
“Aw, hell no. You should be a little standoffish at first. You gotta make sure he knows it wasn’t cool and you’re no pushover. But like I said, he’s not a bad guy.”
I tilt my head. “When did you become such a romantic?”
“Shit, I’m not a romantic. My parents killed that for me. I want to make sure you’re happy, and he seemed to make you happy. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Okay, I’ll think about it, but can we please have one more men hating night first? I really want a chocolate donut and someSex and the City.”
“Of course, girlie. We can even watch the movie where Big leaves Carrie at the aisle and yell at his sorry ass on the TV. That’s what I’m here for.” Sam grins and my heart feels lighter. Maybe it is time to give Sawyer a chance. He sent me a ton of texts the first few days, but he hasn’t texted anything today. What if he’s already decided he’s over me?
Chapter Forty