Page 64 of Redemption
I think of death.
Someone’s death. Any-fucking-one will do. A car door slams shut, and I quickly put the finger in my mouth, sucking away the metallic tasting fluid. She’s not particularly likable, the blonde bitch, and tonight I’ll sate my blood thirst.
It won’t be pretty.
Kerry
We’ve been outside for two hours when it’s time to go back and prepare for lunch. Cece’s beginning to get tired, but I can’t allow her to sleep right away. She needs to eat first, and also she’d just want to nap one more time before evening, and then it would be hell to try to make her come to rest for the night. And maybe, maybe I enjoy her company a little too much to want to be without it. But that reason I don’t really articulate, because it doesn’t sound quite right.
Maybe I’m beginning to feel a little lonely after all?
I swing her up in my arms and stagger. She’s become a lot heavier, but I can still carry her all the way back. Cecilia snuggles up against me, her soft cheek is warm against my cold skin. I kiss her and she laughs and kisses me back. A big, sloppy, wet, absolutely wonderful kiss full of unconditional love.
Ray McGonaghan should be making a delivery today. He’s a funny little man. Rather overweight, lives with his mother, breeds doves, and runs the local grocery store. He supplies me with life’s necessities, like bread, milk, potatoes, meat and books when I ask for them and sometimes just when he thinks he’s found something for me. He has also brought loads of toys for Cecilia. Old, inherited worn stuff, but always clean and fully functional. Legos, blocks, wooden trains, cars I wind up and then watch race across our floor, dolls of all colors, sizes and shapes. I think he might have taken a liking to us and I pray to God he won’t ever come on to me in any way. I’ve tried to make myself as unattractive as possible. I hope it works.
I let her down with a sigh of relief. She immediately sits down, leaning dangerously to the left, and I have to lift her again and place her on one of the chairs on the porch. I don’t want her to catch a cold. I stretch my aching back and flex my shoulders. Before we go inside, I pile up the sticks I’ve collected on the logs by the side of the house. I always try to think ahead. Last winter was tough and there were a few days when no one could come or leave. It was only thanks to my storages we didn’t freeze or starve. There’s no telling what this winter will be like, but it kind of thrills me. It’s back to basics. It gives me real things to focus on instead of the unreal, the surrealistic patterns that have been my life these past couple of years.
I have only got a few twigs left to pile when I hear the low distant murmur of an engine. I snap my head to the left, listening, then I react on instinct. I drop everything and swing Cece up in my arms faster than she can blink. I’m inside in no time. I look around me in desperation, then I decide to place her in the tub in case there’d be any shots fired. Rushing to the bathroom, I grab a blanket on the way and carefully set her down on it, still fully dressed. I pray she’ll be protected there. She grunts a little.Please be quiet.
I dash back out into the main room, grab the shotgun and hide between the door and the window, barely breathing, tensed, dead frightened.
Itisa car!
It stops right outside. The engine dies and I hear a door open and then quietly shut. The little hairs on my nape stand straight up. Who bothers to close the door so carefully? Someone who has something to hide? The need to glance out the window almost kills me, but I press my back tightly against the wall and remain still. I hear steps on the gravel.Oh God!Cocking the gun I pray silently Cecilia has fallen asleep in the tub and won’t make a noise.Who’s here? Who’s sneaking up on us?The fear nearly chokes me. Deep down I know who. I know I’ll have to use my gun. And it scares me so much.
“Miss Kerry? Hello! Are ya there?”
Ray! It’s Ray!Trembling violently, I have to use both hands to secure the shotgun again and hang it back up on the wall.Oh, stupid, silly Ray.I open the door and lean against the doorframe, somewhat casually I hope.
“Hey, Ray. Is there a problem?” I strain a smile and have to fake a cough to wipe the tears away from my eyes. I don’t want to show him how much he scared me.
“Hi, Kerry!” he shouts, blissfully unaware of the commotion he caused. “I’ve got—”
“Hang on a sec.” I go and fetch Cece, needing a moment to calm my nerves. She sleeps on her back, her legs sticking up, looking like a turned over frog. Stopping in my tracks I decide to let her have her nap until I have had time to fix us lunch.
Christ!
I’m gonna have to have a serious talk with Ray.
He stands with his head bent, and at first I think he’s ashamed over showing up despite my ‘no-show’ rule, but then he raises his head and kicks away a little stone as he approaches me, grinning and carefree. I feel evil, knowing that in a minute I’m going to have to wipe that smile off his face. He is such an honest, and almost childlike, human being. I’m sure he meant no harm. But our safety comes first. His ginger, fleshy grin becomes hesitant and then it vanishes as I walk down the steps to meet him. I realize I must be a frightening sight as I fight the urge to hit him.
Poor man.
Nineteen
Christian
Erica Davenport’s butler has the night off. I can drive all the way up to her residence. No guards. She’s so fucking clueless, but the easier for me. The doorbell chimes cheerily and it doesn’t take long before I hear a shuffle of feet.
“Who is it?” she calls through the door.
“Name’s Christian, Miss. I’m here on behalf of a Vincent Mendell.” She’s ridiculously hung up on her young lover. I have no doubt she’ll open.
The safety chain rattles as Mrs. Davenport unhooks it and then she swings the door open, hand on hip, leaning casually against the doorframe, her eyes widening as she takes in my friendly smile. As her gaze wanders along my body I almost feel dirty.
“What can I do for you?” she purrs huskily. “Did Vin… ehm, Mr. Mendell send me something?”
I cock my head, as I hold her blue gaze. “What do you think?”