Page 144 of Relentless
38
MAVERICK
For the past five years, I’ve truly believed that the most terrifying thing I faced was to have Alana look at me like I’m nothing more than a man from her past. I was so fucking scared of ever doing anything to make her think for even a second that I could be like that, that I’ve held back on everything.
Do I regret it?
No. Not for a second. I could never regret anything that has involved spending time with my wife.
But do I think I possibly could have handled it better? Sure. One hundred percent.
I guess looking back, the biggest problem is that I couldn’t tell anyone.
In those first few years, she was my dirty little secret.
Kurt was pissed off for a while. Someone had taken away his favorite toy; I guess he had a right to be irritated. But honestly, he must have seen it coming. He couldn’t have ever truly believed that she wanted to be subjected to the hell he was putting her through. Surely he was aware that she spent her days dreaming about freedom while her nights were left haunted by everything he’d allowed to happen.
But eventually, everyone just kinda forgot about her. It was a relief, albeit a sad one.
It was such an insult to what an incredible person she is that she could be forgotten like she never existed.
It sure helped make life easier for me though.
With no one searching for her, I could do my job. I could protect her and help to build a life for her that she deserved.
But as I stand here now, staring down into her hungry eyes with her body pressed up against mine, I realize there was always a threat out there much bigger, much scarier than her looking at me like a monster.
And I’ve just witnessed it.
The way she looked up at JD as he laid out her truths about staying here.
That was way more terrifying than her looking at me like a monster.
Looking at him with the same fire and passion in her eyes she’s always giving me was fucking heartbreaking.
And he’s given her everything…
“Mav?” she whispers, her brows pinching when I don’t move. Too lost in my own head, my own fears, to even really hear her demand.
Her hands slide down my back, making my muscles jump before they find my ass. She squeezes hard, forcing our bodies impossibly tighter. There’s no mistaking how her closeness affects me, and if the way her eyes sparkle tells me anything, it’s that she loves it.
Just another reminder of how much I fucked up.
“M-Mav, please, I need yo—”
The crack in her voice, the desperation… I can no longer deny it. I opened the floodgates this morning by caving to the endless tension between us and now I’ve no chance of stopping what we started.
“Anything.” I groan. “Any-fucking-thing.”
My fingers twist in the hair at the nape of her neck, tugging her head back exactly as I want, before our lips collide.
And the second they do, I swear something explodes. Cliché, I know, but it’s fucking fireworks.
I always knew we’d be electric. From the few tastes I’ve had, the teasing touches and the taunts she’s tried so hard to break me with, I knew our collision would be beyond anything I’d ever experienced. It’s why I waited. I knew it would be worth it when the time came. I just never could have imagined that time looking like this.
As our tongues slide together, the knowledge that we’re being watched prickles my skin.
I don’t need to turn around to know that JD is right there, standing at the window.