Page 22 of Until He Confesses

“I really want this,” I said, and he smiled.

“Let’s take a shower instead. I’ll take you against the wall.”

My heart skipped several beats as I watched him head for the glass stall.

The prospect indeed sounded appealing, but I was still reluctant. Despite this, he began to undo the buttons of his shirt and I watched him.

I made my decision and stepped out of the tub.

Water dripped down my body and onto the floor noisily, and although he heard every bit of my movement he didn’t bother turning around. Not till I walked up to his broad and muscled back.

In the past, he hadn’t been skinny or lanky, but he had always been lean, with just the perfect amount of muscle. Now, he looked so much better, and I could tell he’d put in quite the effort over the years to improve. He still didn’t look overly built but he was now just as dangerously attractive as he was threatening and anyone would truly think twice before trying to mess with him and that included me.

He was trouble, in every single way and I had to ask myself what I thought I was doing.

The truth was, I wasn’t thinking at all because if I was, then I wouldn’t want anything to do with him. I wouldn’t even be in the same vicinity as him but yet the things that had always drawn me to him like a moth to a flame remained and perhaps even had greater control over me now than ever before. Maybe it was because I had jogged a mile around the block and realized that when it came to the aspect of physical touch there was no one that could compare with him.

But then as I stood before him, I had to remind myself that this had been the case when I was in love with him. I was left wondering if being with him would be underwhelming since I was no longer as emotionally attached to him.

He turned around to stare at me, now solely in his pair of dark briefs and it occurred to me why there was no need to think beyond this moment with him. Back then the one thing that had enabled me to carry on with our relationship even when I was well aware that it would be best to end it months before I actually said a word, was the fact that I hadn’t wanted to give up the perfect fantasy that he was.

Over the years, I had told myself that I had been silly and that he had been nothing more than a childish ideology but now that he was before me, I stood corrected.

So once again I gave myself the same memo to follow.

Lucas Marsh was the perfect fantasy, and I was allowed to indulge in him without reaching for more or being afraid that I would lose more than I was offering. With this permission, I was able to reach forward. I wanted to touch him I realized, but the moment my hand almost reached his face and his eyes turned to it I stopped.

Was this too intimate?I wondered.

If the lack thereof was what we were going for then wasn’t this supposed to be quick and he would be on his way? The truth was this was not what I wanted from this encounter.

I held his gaze.

“I don’t want it rough or crass, at least not at the start. Take your time and ensure that this is worth mine.” I said.

At my words, he smiled and gave me a look that could have passed as fondness.

I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe anything about him.

“I plan to do all of the above,” he said. “So, relax.”

He headed into the stall, and after turning on the faucet, stood under the steaming spray. I had more or less had my shower a few minutes earlier but truly didn't think I could pass this up so I followed him into the spray.

I pressed my front against his back and then hooked my fingers into the waistband of his briefs.

“You’re not going to take these off?” I asked. After rinsing his hair, he turned around to face me and then I watched as his eyes perused down my body.

“Wow,” he said. “The years have done your body wonders.”

I couldn’t help but flush at his words and then I placed my hand against the hard ridges of his abdomen.

I grazed my fingers across the slight smattering of hair and traced it even lower until I pulled on the band of his briefs.

“Do I have to ask you again why you don’t have these off?” I asked.

He smiled.

“If you want them off, then you can take them off.”