Page 59 of Until He Confesses

"See you around, Jacks," he said, using the familiar name he used to call me. I almost choked up in tears as he waved behind me.

I watched him leave and felt a soul-crushing sadness in my chest. If anything, this day had proven our expectations and beliefs in our relationship, even back in the day, of how it could be something special. But unfortunately, and as always, life had gotten in the way and in the cruelest of ways.

I got back into my room to find it cleaned and comfortable, but after a quick shower, I found that I couldn't quite relax in bed. All I could think about was him on that gorgeous yacht with the view of the ocean. He was probably lying on the deck, staring up at the stars, just like I so badly wanted to be doing right now. But instead, all I could stare up at was the fan in my room. I told myself that it didn't make any sense to be near him, but sooner or later he would be sailing away and that would be it for the foreseeable future between us. I didn't want to sleep with him, or at least I had managed to control myself from doing so and had my libido under control. But why was there a restriction on sleeping next to him on a yacht for the night?

After thinking myself to death, I eventually tried to fall asleep but failed. I turned and picked up my phone to text him. I used to do this almost every night when I couldn't sleep back in high school, so I couldn't help but feel alarmed that perhaps my heart and actions were leading me to a trap that I wouldn't be able to get out of. But I couldn't quite believe this because of what had happened and how we had parted. There was no way I could have anything with him when he had repeatedly denied not cheating on me, and this was more than enough to keep my brain functioning when I was tempted for even a moment to want anything whatsoever with him.

He would never admit it for some reason, and I had long accepted this fact, which was why I had been able to sever our ties in the past. It had broken me severely, but I had recovered and started over. That was how I was going to stay. Beyond that, he was still one of the greatest friends I had ever had and one of the best people I had ever known.

"Asleep yet?" I checked the message I had sent to him once again, but when he didn't respond, I decided instead to call my mom. Perhaps speaking to her would occupy me enough to send me to sleep and kill the impulse for bad decisions that were currently plaguing my body like an illness.

She would just be getting back from work as an office administrator, so I was able to catch her at a good time.

"I'm making dinner," she said, and in the background, I could hear her corgi making the most aggressive noises, which made me smile.

"What's happening there?" I asked.

"He's in his kennel, locked. He's been incredibly naughty these days. We went out on a walk a few minutes ago and he terrified a border collie."

This made me smile.

"But a collie is five times his size."

"Exactly," she said. "I don't know where his intense confidence comes from."

"Maybe it's because he's short," I replied, and could hear her smile.

"Maybe. He'll be out soon anyway to eat dinner."

I sighed and then listened to the sound she was making, trying to imagine her as she cooked.

"I haven't heard from you in a few days," she said. "You've arrived in Positano haven't you?"

"Yes, I have," I replied and thought of telling her about the unfortunate accident I had but decided against it, especially when I realized that I would also have to mention Lucas.

I had never really told anyone why we broke up, not even Anna, until the previous week and I had always wondered why. At the time it had been because I had been so deeply in love with him that I didn't want to tarnish his name. He had crossed my line, but the biggest dilemma was the fact that I couldn't admit that he had exceeded my expectations for all others. And this I came to realize was what hurt the most because he was a man that was damn near perfect.

I sighed and kept listening.

"So..." she said. "Anna mentioned something to me on the phone."

I immediately tensed up, because I deeply suspected where this was going.

"What?" I asked dryly, truly waiting to be surprised, and after this phone call was going to call the big mouth and let her have it.

"She said she ran into Lucas. And that he has become extremely wealthy."

I scoffed at her words, especially when I thought of the yacht he was currently lying on without me.

"That's putting it lightly," I said, and she seemed stunned.

"Wow. I'm not surprised though, he always seemed like the kind with so much potential when you were younger. And he pushed you a lot too, as well."

"Mom, we pushed each other," I corrected, and she smiled.

"Exactly. Have you had a chance to meet him yourself?" she asked and for a second I wondered if Anna had told her the full story and she was just trying to tread lightly with me.

"I have," I replied. "And there was no connection to be rekindled there, Mom. We broke up for good."