Page 45 of Love Me
“And I told you that I can take care of myself.”
“Then why don’t you act like it?” he hisses.
My eyes bulge in shock and anger. “Where the hell do you get off—”
“I get off because I’m your best fucking friend. And you’re mine. I told you I would never let anything happen to you, and I meant every word of it.”
“How do you know those rumors about Slater and his friends are even true? Is this jealousy or something? Are you angry because his friend, Jake, is dating that girl you liked?”
His eyebrows dip into a V and he looks at me like I have two heads.
“Fuck Jake and that chick. I barely know her.”
“But you liked her. I saw it when you came to visit me on campus.”
He visited me the first month we were away at college. There’s a girl, Jesse, that a lot of guys on campus are enthralled with. She’s very pretty and it’s not hard to see why the guys want her. I noticed Diego watching her when he came to visit.
I even introduced them since Jesse was in the same biology class as me and we were working on a project together.
They went out once or twice, but nothing came of it apparently because she quickly started dating one of Derek’s friends.
“This isn’t about her or even his fucking crew, which I’ve warned you about. This is about the way that asshole was just speaking to you.”
“He’s a little drunk. It’s Christmas … of course, he’s going to be a little tipsy. He’s not normally like that.”
“It’s never an excuse to be like that. He called you a bitch.”
“Which, if you’d given me the chance, I would’ve yelled at him about. I’m sure he’s sorry, but because you hung up on him, you didn’t give him a chance to apologize.”
“It shouldn’t have ever come out of his mouth in the first place. Could you imagine your dad ever calling your mom a bitch? Or my dad saying something like that to my mom?”
“We’re not them!” I scream. Because no, I can’t imagine either one of those scenarios happening. But we’re different from our parents.
At least, I am.
I’m not getting my happily ever after. I don’t deserve it.
“God, what happened to you?” he asks as if he doesn’t know me anymore.
That hurts more than anything.
“Why are you even entertaining a loser like him? It’s like ever since …” He trails off.
“Since what?” I dare him to say it. The elephant in the room that we’ve been avoiding ever since the day he found me crying in our spot, over a year ago.
“Since that day, you’ve changed. All you date now are losers.”
“Don’t call him that,” I yell. “And nothing’s changed.” I turn away from him so he doesn’t see that even I know that’s a lie.
I wish I could say nothing in me changed when I found out the truth of my biological father. But it did. Something inside of me broke. For most of my life, I learned to live with the fact that the man who conceived me just didn’t want to be a part of my life.
Was it painful? Yes, but I accepted it, and when my mom married Damon Richmond, he became the only father I ever wanted.
Then, I went and discovered the truth. The reality that I was created in something horrific and ugly. I am the by-product of that. How can that not change someone?
Diego comes around to face me. I pull away when he tries to place his hands on my shoulders. I might crack wide open if he touches me. He’s the only one who knows everything about me, all of my secrets.
And that’s not something I want to look in the face right now.