Page 10 of Reptile Dysfunction
“Are you screwing with me?” I ask, completely unsure.
“So I should contact old man Jenkins?” Fred asks.
“You know what? Sure. Why not? You go do that, and I’m… gonna go scream into the uncaring void.” I walk to my office, ignoring Fred as he tries to inform me the void is the other way. Closing the door behind me, I sink into my chair.
I’m not giving up. I’m so close, I can feel it.
6
MASON
“Oh, really?” I ask myself. My snakes respond with angry hisses of their own. They can’t read the inflammatory article sitting in front of their faces, but they can sense my derision towards it and are behaving appropriately. I glide my palm over their bodies, pushing what passes as my hair back to soothe them.
The article is upsetting to read. It’s buried in the middle of the paper, far away from Fred's popular contribution on the front and the spider-shaped crossword on the back. But it’s still there, with signs of heavy editing that can’t hide Charlotte’s derision for me.
She’s implying, with no evidence whatsoever, that several of my policies have nefarious purposes. She focuses heavily on the Monsternet internet service, a passion project meant to bring internet access to even the most rural farmers who live in Curiosity’s city limits that she’s currently sullying. She also seems to think I’m dumping dangerous chemicals in the water at the treatment plant. I wonder if she’s referencing the mineral compound we add to help the children in town have improved fang and tusk hygiene.
To say it’s concerning watching my good intentions be slanted in such a horrifying way would be an understatement. It’s disappointing. Insulting, even. Just last week they also published one of her articles that mentioned my loss in Sweetwater, implying there was something to it other than ignorant bigotry. That one hurt the most.
I put the paper down and pick up my desk phone. My coffee stays full and quickly cooling. I simply don’t have the stomach for it this morning. I dial the number for the newspaper office, punching in Eddie’s extension when prompted. He should be in by now. The man is known for working early mornings and late nights. I can certainly relate.
“This is Eddie,” he says quickly. The man is not known to waste time with formalities.
“Ed, it’s Mason,” I reply.
“Mr. Mayor! To what do I owe… Oh, wait, yeah. You’ve probably read today’s paper, haven’t you?”
“Indeed I have.” I adjust the receiver as the snakes on my head glide back over to inspect the device. “Mind taking a little constructive criticism?” I ask with humor. I would never tell the paper what to write or how to run their business. Healthy journalism is important for keeping the people in power in check. But this is more like morbidly ill journalism, if such a thing exists.
My snakes are sensing my growing frustration and begin taking it out on the corded phone in my hand. I attempt to control them until one gets the bright idea to simply try and bite through the cord.
“Hold on, Eddie,” I say quickly. I hold the receiver down with one hand and gently grab the offender in the other, holding its little face to look at mine. “Hey. It’s alright. Chill out.” I put the phone on speaker and hang the receiver up, leaning back in my chair to ensure they are far away from any electronic devices.
“Listen, Wendall, I gotta apologize for our newest reporter in town. She’s got a lot of gumption and way too much sass, but she’s got herself pointed in the wrong direction. If I can just course-correct her, I know she can be a valuable member of the team.” Eddie tries to reassure me, but he sounds a little sad about this predicament.
“Seems like you’re pretty intent on her staying,” I observe.
Eddie sighs. “Yeah, like I said, she’s got all the skill and experience we need. She came to me desperate for a chance. The poor girl got dumped hard by her last boyfriend.”
“I didn’t realize you had such a soft spot for jilted exes,” I say with a laugh.
“Sorry, meant to add that her ex was also her editor.”
I grimace. Now that’s rough.
“Luckily, we have very specific written regulations against office romance here. Nothing worse for morale than always having to swipe away desperate dames like flies on my tail.”
My grimace remains at the visual Eddie has now placed in my head. The snakes seem confused as to how to react to this particular flavor of disgust.
“Anyway, the guy broke her heart and stomped on her career for good measure. I don’t appreciate editors that abuse good reporters like that, so I thought I’d give her a shot here. Look, Wendall, I’m sorry she’s been a pain in your side. I’ve got her a partner now, someone to show her how absolutely boring Curiosity is. I’ll have her covering community potlucks and cats getting rescued from trees in no time.”
“Now hold on. A little political coverage isn’t a bad thing. It’s just this…” I wave my hand in the air, looking for a better way to say ‘baseless conjecture.’
“It’s the lack of any evidence that bothers me,” I finally supply. “Surely as someone who’s worked in the industry this long, she has better integrity. I have to assume she’s desperate to make a name for herself here.”
“Yeah, well. Unfortunately, she’s succeeding on that front. You’re being a pretty good sport about it compared to how the rest of the town wants to chase her out. I’m up to my eyeballs in complaints letters. And for once they aren’t all written by Mr. Murphy!”
I shake my head and sigh. I understand how she must feel, having her career sabotaged and heart broken. Years of your life simply trampled on and destroyed because someone wanted you gone. I truly feel for the poor woman. It can’t be easy starting over in a new town, new job, and with completely new expectations.