Page 16 of Reptile Dysfunction

I keep walking, not stopping for permission, then turn around the corner. The ladies’ room is just a short walk from there. I quietly slip through the door, pick a stall near the far wall, and close the door behind me. I put the toilet lid down and sit, feet pulled up and out of view.

And now, I wait.

Time drags on, but eventually, someone opens the door to turn off the lights. I wait another ten minutes, just to be sure, and that’s when I make my move. Just as I predicted, the office is abandoned. Everyone made sure to go home right on time. I suppose it is Friday.

I take off my heels and walk silently down the hall to the office of the mayor. Of course, the door is locked, but that has never stopped me before. I take two bobby pins out of my hair, crouch down, and get to work.

The security here is shockingly lacking, as I manage to pick the lock in mere minutes. The door does, however, let out a horrid creaking sound as I open it. I take that as a sign to get to it, so I hurry inside and make my way to the nearest filing cabinet.

Inside is a jackpot of contracts, files on contractors and business partners, and invoices paid. This is all I need, I know it. Somewhere in here is evidence of city funds being diverted for bribery or worse, I can feel it.

“Hey!”

I look up, wide-eyed and my blood turning to ice. A bright light shines in my eyes, and I blink against the sudden intrusion into my pupils.

“Well, you’re certainly not the werecat electrician. Your eyes don’t reflect. So who are you and what’s your business?” The voice is coming from an old woman, and once I get my vision back, I can tell from her cart she’s a janitor here.

“My name is Charlotte Lieberman. I’m a reporter with the –”

“Ugh, you,” she groans. Does everyone in this town react that way to hearing my name? “Security!”

“Wait, no look, here’s my credentials.” I drop the stack of papers and check my pockets for my badge.

“I know who you are, I don’t need proof.”

“I have a right to be here,” I state. The security officer walks up, and by the look on his face, he disagrees.

“Ma’am, you’re trespassing on city property,” the orc states firmly.

I take a quick look around, consider my options, and realize I’m up against an entirely broken system.

“Alright. Fine, I’m just going to get my shoes, and I’ll leave.” I turn my back to them and go through the trouble of putting my shoes back on, but as I do, I manage to slip some of the papers into my purse. “I’m on my way. You’ll never see me again, I promise.” I walk out of the front door, feeling the happiest I’ve felt in a very long time.

* * *

“Well, I hope you're happy,” Eddie says when I walk into the office Monday morning. He clearly isn’t. “You’re lucky Sergeant Adams is an old friend of mine. When he called me Friday night to tell me about the call he got from the cleaning crew, he was ready to throw you in jail. I talked him down to just waiting for today to question you, but you still could end up with charges filed. What were you thinking!”

I smile, holding the papers out to him. “Oh, just that the best scandal is usually hidden in plain sight.”

Eddie takes the papers and raises an eyebrow. “What is this? A budget for building the new playground in the park? Oh, stop the presses! The swing set is suspicious!”

“It’s not about the playground, Eddie, it’s about the money. I intend to follow every single line item of each of these budget issues!”

“You broke into city property for something that’s publicly available,” he points out.

I blink, then shake my head. “I didn’t break into the town hall, Eddie, I just… took a while in the bathroom.”

“Picking a lock is breaking in.”

“Listen, that’s not what’s important here! This administration is guilty of financial fraud, and the proof is in these papers, I know it!”

“You’re on thin ice, Charlotte,” Eddie says. “Breaking the law to steal government property is a step too far. By the way, all contractor work is audited quarterly by a third-party agency. By Wendall’s own policy.”

“That’s even more suspicious!” I declare. How can he not see that? Who goes to that much trouble to smokescreen himself with ethics theater? Someone with a lot to hide, that’s who.

And I intend to pull it all out into the open, kicking and hissing, for this whole town to see.

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