Page 54 of Reptile Dysfunction
“I love you so much,” I say to her as we press our foreheads together, and the crowd around us cheers.
“I love you, too,” Charlotte replies.
We make our way down the aisle, friends and family throwing black rose petals over the both of us.
The celebrations only get better as the day wears on. Our reception is in the haunted house where I took Charlotte dancing on one of our first real dates, and again, the atmosphere is absolutely perfect. Our guests enjoy the buffet, catering to any and all creatures – ghosts, vampires, monsters, and even humans, ensuring everyone feels welcome.
The music is a mix of human hits and more traditional fare, like fingers scraping the inside of a coffin or the screams of the undead. There are even a couple of Dill Cucumis songs thrown in there to pay homage to our bonding over Pickle Fest.
Our first dance, however, is something we co-created just for today. It’s a piano ballad that Charlotte always loved, overlaid with the sibilant snake-song of my people. It’s the perfect way to celebrate our union.
“Congratulations to the two of you!” comes a voice from behind us as we step off the dance floor.
Charlotte and I turn to see Fred grinning at us in his usual inane but entirely sincere way.
“Thank you, Fred,” Charlotte says from beside me. “It means a lot to us that you’re here.”
“And not just in a personal capacity,” Fred tells us, his one eye doing that thing again where it looks off in a slightly different direction to the other. “I wanted to ask if you’d be okay with me covering the wedding for the Herald?”
Charlotte and I look at each other, a little puzzled.
“I thought you weren’t working for the Herald anymore?” I ask, confused.
Fred just grins. “I’m not, but I thought this could be my wedding present to you. One last hurrah for my good friends Charlotte and Mason.”
I smile, and when I turn to look at Charlotte, I see she’s grinning too.
“Oh, Fred, that’s very sweet of you,” she says. “Of course, you can cover the wedding.”
Fred smiles and spends the next few minutes interviewing us about all the wrong details of the wedding — whether our shoes were comfortable, what time we’re planning on going to bed tonight, and if he can take some leftovers home after the reception.
“That’s going to be one interesting article,” I say to Charlotte once Fred has gone.
“Well, being married to you is the most interesting thing I’ve ever done, so it better be,” Charlotte retorts with a smile.
She folds herself into my arms before kissing me tenderly.
“Have I ever told you how lucky I am to have found you?” I ask softly while the party thrums around us.
“Have I ever told you I feel the same way about you?” Charlotte replies, and I feel myself fall for her all over again. It’s something I’m starting to understand is just part of my new life with my beautiful bride.
33
CHARLOTTE
I am truly and thoroughly exhausted. The night was a blur of laughter, food, hugs, dancing, and tears. And somehow, it all went by in the blink of an eye! I’m not sure how that happened.
But here we are, back home in the pitch black of night. The stars above seem to be twinkling well wishes just for us. Even the hooting owls sound like they’re singing a congratulatory song for our ears only.
In this town? Anything seems possible.
“I’ve always wanted to do this,” Mason says after opening the door. He turns back and picks me up in one quick swoop. I laugh hard as he quickly realizes he can’t cross the threshold without pivoting, unless he wants to hit my head on the doorframe! We make it a few steps inside before he sets me down on my feet and turns to close the door.
“My great-grandmother used to say a bride tripping over the threshold on her wedding day was a bad omen. She did, and that’s why her husband had bad luck his whole life,” Mason explains.
“Oh? And what happens if the groom trips while carrying the bride?”
Mason takes the question seriously and ponders it for a moment. “A trip to the hospital.”