Page 94 of Dirty Like Us

I could envision Zane out there, with his long blond fauxhawk, lounged back in a chair, arguing with Jesse over virtually every guitarist they’d auditioned. Zane and Jesse could rarely agree on anything; I wondered if that had changed over theyears.

With every step I took onto the stage, this shit was getting more real. The members of my former band were in this room.Rightnow.

The heartburn feeling was creeping up in my throat again and I tried to clear it—softly, as if anyone could hear me. At least this wasn’t a vocal audition; I probably couldn’t handlethat.

But no matter how nervous I felt, my hands would know what todo.

As my eyes adjusted to the lights, I saw a drum kit on the other side of the stage, and Pepper, the Penny Pushers’ drummer, standing behind it twirling drum sticks. He didn’t seem to notice me. He was talking to someone in the shadows behind him, maybe a crew member. Ash was gone, vanished somewhere over there that I couldn’t see because of the giant silk screen that blocked me from the rest of the room—including most of the stage and my supportingband.

A couple of crew guys had appeared, scurrying around me, turning shit back on, and someone plugged in myguitar.

And that familiar sound… the sizzle of electricity and the whine of feedback. It took me right back—to the last time I was onstage with Dirty, at the reunion show in Vancouver. And how the crowd had loved it. Lovedme.

I took a deep breath, letting the memories of that show flood my senses… and the nerves leftme.

Certainty settled over meagain.

All that bullshit about getting kicked out of the band—myband… it was like it never fuckinghappened.

This is what Iam.

This is where Ibelong.

The fans knew it, even if Dirtydidn’t.

Maybe Jude knew it, too. Maybe Ash knew it. Maybe Liv knew it, and that’s why she was making thishappen.

And if that was true, I just needed to prove it to Dirty. Prove to them that IwasDirty, as much as any one of themwas.

Obviously, I’d fucked up. I knew that. My talent had once made my wildest dreams come true, but I’d let my addiction twist those dreams into anightmare.

I’d fallen—flat on myface.

I’d failed.Epically.

But my memories of failure weren’t going to stop me. Crashing from one failure to the next, hitting bottom, clawing my way back and still rolling the fuck on, stronger than before—that was what it took to be standinghere.

Rightnow.

Stronger thanever.

I was a changed man, and I wasn’t fucking aroundanymore.

Dirty needed a new guitarist, but they sure as hell didn’t need the Seth Brothers they used to know; even I knew that. Or the Seth who made a half-assed comeback at the reunion show, bent on some kind of closure that never fuckinghappened.

As I slid my shades back on and got ready to play the hell out of this song, I knew I was ready—more than ready—to take back what was mine. And I knew, with certainty, I was gonna fucking crush thisaudition.

They thought they knewme…

But they hadn’t evenmetSeth Brothersyet.

CHAPTERTHREE

Elle

Fuck this.

I was so done withthis.