Page 44 of Bloodstained Wings

I lie in the shower, the warm water drenching me endlessly. It’s nearly impossible not to feel guilty for what happened, and I know I should have done things differently. But now I feel like a dog in the pound. Carter’s going to find out from Tristan, and he’s going to be furious with me. Then there’s that wretched woman who took photos.

I don’t understand it, but I know it’s not good for me. In fact, it feels personal, but that’s what I deserve for being in love with the ex-mayor-in-running for the city. He told me countless times that the cameras would be on us, and if he won the election, it would be our new normal, but this doesn’t feel normal.

It feels like the world is slowly cracking under my feet, and there’s nowhere else to run.

I glance up, catching a shadowy silhouette in the doorway. I don’t need to look closer to know that it’s Carter. I can tell by his lean stance, his hands hidden in his pockets, and the strict flat line of his lips that he constantly displays when he’s not happy about something…anything. It almost makes him look like he’s always mad, which isn’t too far from the truth, but it’s not what I’m used to.

I like the dominant, protective man who would burn the world down for me.

This man is similar. He holds a match and all the spite possibly necessary to bring the world to its knees, but I’m included in that. I’m no one to him in this version, and I bow to the entity above me, just hoping they don’t flick me with a flame in their mission to create fire.

I’m kindling in his world of heat, and I’m not helping calm things down in the slightest.

Slowly, I watch him get undressed, dropping an article of clothing with every step. He comes forward purposefully and starkly naked, standing in the hot water with me curled on the floor before him. I have to prepare myself for punishment, an explanation, and sex, which always comes with a mix of pain and pleasure.

Instead, he kneels under the spray of the shower and sits on the cold tile beside me. I don’t look at him; I only feel his arm snake behind my back and yank me sideways. I’m perfectly placed under his arm now, all comfy, without a hint of ill intent in his touch.

My ass is thankful for this temporary mercy.

“Did Tristan tell you?”

He nods slowly, staring into the darkness of the bathroom. I didn’t turn on any lights. The shower is mounted with an LED strip that casts blue hues over both of us, but it doesn’t offer much light in the grand scheme. Even with the shadows eating his features alive, he still holds the flat line of his lips. It’s not a grin, and it’s certainly not a frown.

It’s contentment. It’s not like Carter.

“What did he say?”

“He told me everything, dove. Everything. Besides that, there was…” He stops himself short, the words muttering out of him too fast for him to control, I guess. When he does speak again, he says it slowly and carefully, like he’s tiptoeing around something else. “There’s an article online about it. A few pictures.”

I swallow those words carefully. “The ones from today? How is that possible? It just happened a few hours ago.”

“It was enough time for someone to throw together a stupid smear campaign againstyou.”

My stomach drops. I’ve heard that phrase before and recently, but not from Carter.

“Lilian.”

This time, Carter perks upright. “What did you just say?”

“I said Lilian,” I repeat. “At the hospital, she told me there was a smear campaign against you.”

He’s silent for a long minute. I don’t blame him, either. What is there to say about that woman? He could tell me the truth, something already telling me that he’s been involved with her in the past, but that’s as much as I can assume at this point.

And I don’t want to assume, but he leaves me such little choice in the matter.

“Please, Carter. Just be honest with me.”

“Honest about what, dove?”

“Everything.”

He shakes his head, unwilling to budge on some things. “I can’t tell you everything. There is nothing to say, Bella. I’m sorry this happened today, and I need to talk to Tristan and Lorenzo more about handling these issues in the future, but it doesn’t excuse you.”

I let my head fall further.

“Dove, why were you out with Rich Donahue?”

Running my hands up and down my wet legs, I try to settle my nerves for now. Punishment is on the horizon, and I know I can’t avoid it. Still, I want to lessen the severity of it if possible.