Page 41 of When Sinners Fear
I stand and fasten the jacket around me again before heading back the way we came in and hope it’s towards the living room where Knox is.
Peering through the gap in a set of wooden doors, I see him laid out with a man tending to him. It’s an irrational response, but I don’t want to be out of his sight. Anything could happen, but the one thing I know – I cling to – is that Knox won’t let anything bad happen to me.
Pushing the door open, I quietly make my way across the floor to a sofa. I pull the blanket from the back and wrap it around me so I won’t touch the fine-looking fabric.
“Peyton?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll come up and see you later. Go get yourself cleaned up.” He dismisses me, and I can feel the tension tighten in my chest at his words. I stand, dragging the blanket with me and go back to the kitchen to wait for Mariana.
She’s waiting for me, and I can smell the familiar scent of warm toast and butter. She’s fussing with something at the stove as well.
“Come on. Let’s get something inside you, and you can then wash up.” She places the toast down for me, and I grab at it, suddenly famished with only one single thought in my mind. After only a couple of bites, it’s all gone. “The doctor said small amounts. Have some water. There’s juice, too. I’ll bring up some soup in a minute if I can get the fucking stove to work.” She shoves at it and slams a cabinet shut.
I swallow down the juice and then get up, ready to wash the nightmare away.
Mariana shows me to a bedroom upstairs with a bathroom.
“The doctor will be up shortly.”
She leaves, and I’m alone.
There’s a mirror in the bathroom, but I’m not brave enough to look at myself. It’s bad enough imagining, I don’t need the image ingrained into my memory. I turn the water on and wait for it to heat up before stepping under it.
The warmth instantly relaxes me, and it’s so good I cry, silent tears filled with fear and humiliation and pain. The water washes through my hair and over my body, and as I look down, I see the rusty colour twirl around the drain, vanishing and taking the evidence with it.
My hands run over my body, careful over the bruised and sore parts, and I find the soap to give the water a helping hand. It smells over-perfumed, but I think it’s the fact I’ve only smelt dirt, blood, and excrement for the last how long. The pleasant smell is overpowering.
I clean, rinse, and repeat. My fingers toy with testing how I am down there, but I’m too scared to feel. I know there’s nothing too permanent from the blade, so I shut off the water and wrap myself in a towel without looking in the mirror.
As if waiting for me to finish, there’s a knock on the door, and the doctor announces himself. He’s got a stern look about him, but I ignore that and just listen.
I move when asked, standing, lifting my arms, and turning on command – all while naked. My cuts and scrapes are sterilised and bandaged. I don’t tell the doctor about the internal damage, and without the blood and dirt, things look a little better. I’ll heal.
He gives me a shot of something in my arm and leaves pills – painkillers – on the side.
There’s little discussion, which I’m comfortable with.
“Keep your fluids up, and make sure you eat, small amounts and regularly. It will take a little while, but your body will bounce back.”
Bounce. The concept makes me laugh. I think about the physics behind the concept, the potential energy and transference. It feels alien right now, but I nod.
After he leaves, there’s another knock on the door, and I hope it’s Knox, but it’s Mariana instead.
“All okay?”
I nod.
“There’s one more thing the doctor left for you.” She hands a little cup with a pill. “It will make sure you’re safe from any consequences. Knox said you aren’t on contraception.”
I stare down at the pill. The morning-after pill.
“It needs to be taken. You’ve been gone for longer than five days, so there’s no guarantee, but it’s better than nothing. Take it, and get some sleep. You need it.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
KNOX