Page 54 of When Sinners Fear
His hand moves from my hip, and his thumb rubs over my clitoris. The pressure sparks something that makes my limbs weaken, and my head falls back on my shoulders as I feel my body burst and pulse with pleasure.
“Ahhh, oh… God!” I cry and moan as my hips undulate, riding out the sensation.
Knox grunts and jerks his body against mine as the energy and power in my body drain from every molecule. His hands move to my ass, pinching in tightly to grind me down on him. It feels possessive and controlling, regardless of me being the one on top, and I give in to his authority and power in the circumstance.
Eventually, after feeling him slow the grind down and breathe slower, I slump forward, unable to hold myself up anymore. My heart is racing, and that’s the only sound I can process, the fast beating and slight hum that infects my hearing.
A part of me wants to watch him – to confirm he was with me through that and wasn’t just going through the motions, but my eyes are tired, closing on me and blocking out any vision of him smiling or looking content.
I'm shifted until I'm on my back, and I picture it in my mind as sleep rushes at me, dragging me away from the here and now.
“Thank you,” I whisper as I snuggle against his warm body, too exhausted to fight.
~
“Argh!” I bolt upright and stifle the start of my cry. I’m in the same bed I fell asleep in, curled around Knox’s limbs. He’s still there, sleeping soundly. It must be nice not to be dragged back to that hell every night. He’s not dreaming about being back in the cage. He’s too peaceful for that. I pull back the covers like I do every night in my own bed and look back at him sleeping. There’s a robe hanging on the back of the door that I steal before slipping out of the room.
The lap of the house is familiar now as I stop at the other guest bedrooms and push open doors. I’m not sure if I do it in anticipation of what I might find or if I’m checking what’s behind them, but I do it like some small ritual.
It takes me a few minutes to settle from the nightmare – to prove to my psyche that I’m safe and not back there – and then my mind drifts to the activities before I fell asleep.
What Knox did to me in the cage wasn’t for pleasure. There were moments that weren’t bad or painful, and I can see now that things can build and change while having sex to make it enjoyable – ecstatic, even. He must have felt more of that than I did.
There’s been a strange connection with him since being free, and maybe this was what we needed despite how crazy it is, but now the questions are building about what’s next. He seemed to make it clear that I needed to go. That’s not a point I can dispute because I do need to. Something is blocking me, though, and I don’t want to face that or deal with it. Here, I can still hide away and be safe with Knox. Of course, safety is all relative now.
My steps take me downstairs, and I check all the rooms, peering inside before moving to the next. I pause at the entrance of his study and think about the vision of him sitting at the desk. Normal. Sexy. Inviting. They’re words I want to apply to him, and they’re true, but I also know differently. I’ve seen the rawness, the man behind the suit, and it should make me run. The thought of setting foot outside those gates is harder than rationalising the staying part, though. Plus, my feelings are involved, which I’ve never had to deal with before.
We’ve shared something so personal – so private – and now I’ve been truly intimate with him. I’m not sure how I go back from that. And it’s terrifying.
The kitchen is warm, and I put some milk on the stove to heat, something my mom would do for me when I was little and couldn’t sleep. I think back to the phone call I made. There should be more calls, but I’m frightened to speak to them again on so many levels. The pain in her voice was so real and visceral that it hurts my soul to think about what I’m putting her through.
Clutching the small mug of milk, I venture into the frigid night air. The cold doesn’t hurt, not after…
There’s a peace here that still doesn’t make sense to me. There’s no logical reason for it, and it unnerves everything I’ve ever thought about my future. Of course, there’s one further question that will need answering before I can really face my future.
A hot rage seeps through my limbs and vibrates through my arms until I scream out and launch the mug out into the tree line of the property. “Arghhhhh!” I cry into the darkness again.
The silence that follows is loud and rings in my ears. My heart sets back to thrumming in my chest, and I drop to the floor as I sob. The coolness of the ground seeps into my knees and reminds me of the concrete cage, so I stand and dash my face free of tears and return inside. A shiver follows me, and I consider going back to my bedroom.
But I don’t choose that one. I open the door to Knox’s room, slip the robe off, and creep back into bed beside him.
CHAPTER TWENTY - ONE
KNOX
This is the first time I haven’t given a damn about the bandages covering me. I let the water rush over my skin, head lowered so it drenches me, and hold my dick. It aches with the thought of her out there in my bed, just like it did last night while we fucked. None of it makes any goddamn sense to me, and I sure as hell shouldn’t have let what happened last night happen.
I can feel her watching me after a while. I don’t know how I know that, but I do. My hand reaches out of the shower without me thinking too much about it, fingers beckoning her. She’s in my grip within seconds, and I’m pulling her under the stream with me.
She looks up at me, her back to the wall, and smiles a little. “Good morning. You shouldn’t be getting these wet.”
I keep staring, letting myself revel in the sight of her. She’s a prophecy of some kind. Porcelain white skin. Long, fragile limbs. And, despite the time we've shared, she's still so innocent to me. Her mouth trembles, pouty lips being licked as she scrapes her wet hair back.
“I want you to do something, Peyton. I want you to get down on your knees and make me cum with your mouth.” Her eyes widen and she looks down at my hand. I run it up and down the length of me slowly, smiling at the look of her panic. “Can you do that for me? I want to see those pretty lips sucking on me.”
“I’ve … I’ve never done that.”
I pull her hand to mine and thread her fingers around my dick, groaning instantly at the unknown pressure she creates. “Time to learn.”