Page 9 of Planet Wolf

Time must have moved, but in my blissful state of no pain, I hardly noticed it. I didn’t have a thing I had to do except pet Leader. A song came to me, one I’d heard my mother sing when I was very young. She’d been with me until I was four, and every once in a while, a memory would strike me from her. It was the song she hummed to me when she’d put me to bed at night, back when she’d still done that. Before she got lost to whatever took her away from us, whatever stole her mind.

It did feel that way sometimes. Like she used her madness to escape.

Even if it was unfair of me.

I hummed softly. I didn’t even know if I knew the words to the half-remembered song, but I knew the sound of it. With the plant Doctor gave me dulling my senses, I didn’t have an ounce of self-consciousness in me.Is it possible to just stay like this forever?Probably not, but I was going to love it for however long it lasted.

Both of my awake guys stopped what they were doing to stare at me as I started to sing. They looked at each other and then me again. I smiled, shrugging. Did they hate the song? I’d stop.

When I did stop, Hunter rushed over to touch my feet. He patted me until I hummed again. I guessed they liked it. My eyelids got heavy, and I sighed. I’d been unconscious for a while, but maybe it was better to sleep through a day like today.

To not know how uncomfortable it was bound to get.

Leader was still asleep when I woke up. Not sure what woke me, I quickly realized that Doctor was trying to get me to drink some water. I did and then wished I hadn’t, but Doctor was insistent. He wanted me to have some. So I drank it from his hand, which was strange. Sort of… intimate. He liked it. Thank goodness they weren’t stingy with their smiles, or I wouldn’t know how any of them felt.

He gave me some more and then some more. The water woke me up, and although my hands still weren’t shaking, I felt clearer than I had when I’d first eaten whatever leaf Doctor had given me.

Hunter appeared with food. Like his friend—brother? colleague?—he fed me from his hand. I only ate a little bit, then I put my hand out to stop him. Unlike the meat from the night before, the not-pig was not making me feel like I could eat forever. It was better to stay a little hungry than risk my stomach turning over.

I really didn’t want to puke in the cave, and venturing out into the still-snowing night didn’t have a great deal of appeal either.

Amazingly, Leader slept through the exchange. Neither of the two other Wolf shifters were being particularly quiet. Still, he slept deeply, his face pressed into my stomach, small snores reaching my ears.

Hunter took a bite of his own food and then handed some to Doctor, who ate as well. Eventually, Hunter grinned and threw a piece at Doctor. I widened my eyes. Was he having a food fight? Doctor rolled his eyes but threw it back. Then they were both laughing. The sound resonated in the cave like joyful music had joined us. He winked at me a second before he threw it at me, which made Hunter gasp.

I grinned. It almost hit Leader, but I caught it in time. I lifted my eyebrows, and with an aim I’d developed growing up with six male cousins in the same house, I chucked it at Hunter. He mocked falling backward, as if I’d injured him before he lifted himself up on his elbows to outright laugh at me.

Okay, they weren’t co-workers unless they were co-workers who were also really good friends. I knew their kind of relationship. They were friends or family, and I wasn’t sure why I didn’t recognize their bond sooner. A teasing between them said they knew each other very well.

Eventually, it grew quiet again. Hard to tell, since all I could see from the entrance of the cave was falling snow, but I thought it had gotten late. A seriousness to it becoming late at night, or a weight in the air—the sensation seemed familiar, anyway. Maybe there were dangers they knew about that happened in the dark, or maybe they just worried there were, but none of them tried to leave the cave.

Doctor rose after a time, and he went back to the corner of the cave where he’d stored the plants. He handed me a leaf when he returned, one he obviously wanted me to eat. I took it but hesitated.

“It made me so loopy.” I hummed a little to remind him what happened before.

He shook his head, pointed to my hands, which must have to do with the withdrawal symptoms the leaf had helped with, and then he pantomimed sleeping. I wouldn’t be loopy this time, was what he was trying to tell me. It was late. I’d just go to sleep.

Okay, I supposed that was true. I took it from him, and as before, had no trouble getting it down. Hunter rose, walked over to me, and kissed me, this time on the lips. My heart fluttered. I caught my breath. He held my gaze and then leaned over to kiss my cheek. Whispering something in my ear that of course I couldn’t understand, it still moved through me like he’d said something romantic accompanied by a goodnight kiss.

He backed off and went back to the fire. Leader watched us the night before; tonight it was Hunter’s turn. Doctor patted the ground next to him, which suggested I should lie in between Leader and him. I wasn’t opposed to the idea, but Leader slept on my lap. Maybe I shouldn’t move.

Doctor jumped up, grabbed the bag where they stored their clothes, and laid it on the ground. He motioned for me to put my head on it. I pointed at Leader and Doc nodded, then pointed at the bag again.

All right… well, he could take it up with Leader if he was pissed because I woke him. I scooted over to the bag, and Leader just kind of adjusted. He wasn’t on my lap, but he was still out cold, pressed against my back, his arm flung over me as he lay on the ground, clearly not disturbed.

Doctor grinned like he’d known it would work out that way. Maybe it was their thing—they hung around with solo women enough that they all knew how the others would behave. The thought filled me with sadness. My time with them was special for me, entirely unique. If their behavior was normal for Planet Wolf, I was going to feel robbed of something. I couldn’t even really explain it to myself.

As he’d done the night before, Doctor slid in on the other side of me and held me up against him, too. This time we faced each other. He kissed my forehead then the tip of my nose. I caught my breath. They kept startling me with their easy affection. Would I ever get used to it? Or would it all end before I could?

The leaf did its job, and I giggled. I might be a little loopy before I went to sleep. Doctor grinned at me. Seemed it didn’t bother him at all. I hummed a little bit again, and he watched me like it was the greatest thing he’d ever seen someone do.

Or maybe that was just the loopy leaf making my brain take a left turn to stupid thoughts.

Eventually, I closed my eyes.

I dreamed of Wolves, but not of my companions. No, these Wolves were tearing at me, eating my bones while I was still alive and screaming. They wore Union uniforms, and they laughed while they did it. The ones who had come to take my mother had laughed like that, too. Like it was funny she was so lost.

A strong hand pulled me from the dream. Next to me, Doc was out cold, and it took Leader rolling me over for me to realize it was him who’d woken me up. Unlike when I’d fallen asleep, he was wide awake. Maybe my nightmare woke him? I needed to apologize. He sat upright and tugged me into his lap. I wrapped my legs around him, and he held me pressed against him with his arms, my head on his shoulder.