Page 101 of Undeniable

I cupped his cheek, bringing his attention to me. “You can’t blame yourself for their situation. Especially not when you were trying to help.”

“No, but I should’ve stuck to SOP. I should’ve listened, not reacted emotionally.”

“SOP?” I asked, then remembered what the acronym stood for. “Standard Operating Procedure.”

“Right.”

“You’re human. And considering your past, it’s completely understandable.”

“My past…” He shook his head. “My past is…whether I like it or not, it still affects me. It’s why I’m not safe to be around.”

I sat on the bed, and he scooted the chair over next to it. “That’s not true.”

“You don’t understand what I’m capable of.” His voice was clogged with emotion. “You don’t know what kind of man I really am. A monster, just like my call sign. Just like my father.” His voice broke, the words cutting off as he leaned forward to cover his face with his hands.

I placed my hand on his back, rubbing circles. I was desperate to comfort him. To make him realize it wasn’t his fault. None of it was his fault. Not his mother’s death or the situation with the ambassador’s family. Or even what had happened this morning.

“You’renothinglike your father.” I hoped he could hear the conviction in my voice. The strength of my belief underlying my tone.

“I beat the shit out of a man.”

“To protect someone who couldn’t protect themselves,” I said, wishing he’d listen to me. Believe me.

“I should’ve told you all this before,” he said at last, lifting his head to look at me. “Given you a chance to back out before we ever met. But I’m a selfish bastard when it comes to you.”

“Is that why you insisted on all the additional security measures?” I asked. “Because you were afraid something like this might happen?”

“No. Definitely not. I just wanted you to be safe. If I’d ever—” He shook his head, his shoulder muscles jumping beneath the skin. “If I’d ever suspected George would do something like this, I never would’ve come. I wouldneverput you in danger, Goody. Please tell me you believe me.”

“I do.” I smoothed my finger over his eyebrows, tracing the lines of his face. His eyes were stormy and conflicted, full of emotion as he waged an internal struggle. “Of course I believe you. And even if you had told me all this before, it wouldn’t have changed how I feel about you.”

I loved Connor. I’d loved him for a while now; I’d just been too afraid to admit it. This morning had been a wake-up call, a reminder that life was short and you never knew what might happen.

I was still anxious about trying a long-distance relationship, but the prospect of losing Connor for good was worse still. I knew we’d face obstacles—any couple would. But I had faith that if we wanted to be together, we could figure them out.

“I’ve felt nothing but safe since I met you. Safe to be myself. Safe to express my opinions, even when you don’t agree with me. Safe and protected physically.” I cupped his cheeks, forcing him to meet my gaze. “You’re a good man, Connor James. The best.”

“That’s because you see the good in everyone.”

I pressed my lips to his. “It’s not difficult to see the good in you.”

“Goody,” he rasped.

He slid his hand onto my nape, his touch tender as he held me to his chest. For such a large man, he could be incredibly gentle.

“I want to be together,” I said, meeting his eyes. “Even if that means we’re long-distance for the time being.”

He shook his head. “You don’t want that. You’veneverwanted that.”

“You’re right. I don’t want a long-distance relationship, but I do want to be with you. I want to try.” Having someone hold a gun to your head really had a way of focusing your priorities.

And I’d been foolish to think we could go back to being friends. I saw that now.

He let out a heavy sigh. For a moment, I thought he might agree. But then he took a few steps back and shoved his hands into his pockets. “This morning has been a lot—for everyone. I think you should take some time to see how you really feel once the dust settles.”

“How I really feel?” I asked, my heart splintering at his words. His cold, emotionless tone. “How I really feel is that I love you.”

Not the most eloquent delivery, but once I’d uttered the words, I realized I didn’t regret them. I loved Connor. I loved him for who he was and what he saw in me. And I needed him.