Page 16 of Waves
Instead, I focused on how much I enjoyed being at the beach with someone else for once, and with someone who wanted to stick together. I jogged after him and grabbed Kai’s arm when I caught up, so he had to wait a moment for me. As soon as his eyes widened and stared down at my hand then back at me, I remembered why we were really here. I was not his friend, despite how well we got along.
As soon as I finished quietly cursing my stupidity, I proceeded down the beach without him.
* * *
KAI
Despite all the fun we had so far, Ezra seemed troubled now. Causing him any sort of distress was not at all what I intended, but his current expression spoke volumes about why I couldn’t stay longer. We both needed to be where we belonged, and once I had my coat, I’d no longer be a burden on him.
“Ezra,” I called while quickening my pace.
Ezra’s shoulders hunched forward while he scuttled ahead, obviously ignoring me. He certainly put an impressive distance between us in a short amount of time.
“Oh, come on, Ezra.” I kicked the sandals off my feet and rushed after him.
He kept his back turned, but he stopped and waited while I took a moment to catch my breath beside him. Darn these stupid human legs. I wouldn’t have tired this quickly while in the water.
“Sorry,” Ezra mumbled. His glasses slipped down his nose from watching the ground, so he quickly adjusted his frames.
“No, I’m sorry,” I said to him.
Only his eyes lifted to meet mine. His bright gaze crashed through me with a tidal wave of emotion and I briefly reconsidered everything I swore to myself ages ago. I didn’t know why him or why now, but I already knew I would no longer be content with a quiet life spent lazing under the sun. I wanted conversations and laughter and... someone I could trust.
With a muted growl to myself, I came back to my senses. Ezra might be the best kind of human, which must be why I became so fond of him so quickly, but he was still human. Even if I told him the truth, would he listen? And if I showed him what I really was, could he believe his own eyes? If I entrusted him with this one secret of mine, could I also trust him to let me go?
That last budding doubt kept my lips sealed. Ezra proved himself an observer. While I hoped he would never trap me and study me all day, even a speck of doubt felt like too much. Greed wouldn’t drive someone like him to imprison me. His intentions would likely be pure, with confinement under the guise of study and satisfying his natural curiosity. As insulting as I found such a thing, I understood the drive to learn the ocean’s many secrets. What I would never understand was why humans had such an innate urge to possess. I didn’t think any knowledge I felt willing to share could ever be enough for him.
Only a fool could idly watch the discovery of their lifetime swim away and offer no resistance. The temptation would be too great for any human, even one as good-natured as Ezra. When the day came where he could not let me go... that would also be when all of my affection for him twisted into resentment.
I couldn’t bear the thought of hating the only human I ever liked. Even if the choice destroyed me, I preferred only to get this close and hold on to what little I permitted myself to have rather than gamble everything and lose. Never before did I consider myself as being punished, but perhaps this was my curse: trying to find satisfaction with watching the world change while never truly becoming a part of it.
I took a deep breath, resolute in my decision. Slowly closing my hand around Ezra’s, my thumb grazed his knuckles. There was something so comforting about being able to reach out and touch him after countless afternoons spent at a distance. “I’m really going to miss you,” I quietly confessed.
He glanced first at my hand, then at me; his frown chased away by a smile when he stared back at me.
I had long regarded the humans as a more regressed sort of animal. Yet, I felt as if Ezra and I completely understood one another right now. His eyes begged and his body screamed his intent when he took one step closer.
I didn’t give. Instead, my hesitancy ruined my one and only chance.
Joyful barking echoed across the beach and Ezra snapped his head to the black speck of fur in the distance
“Hey, you know better. Get away from that,” Ezra yelled. He dropped my hand and rushed down the beach to see what was happening.
Ishmael struck gold. He nosed at a mess of fur and blubber tangled within some kelp, and I didn’t need to take a step closer to know he found my coat. What I couldn’t understand was why my stomach churned. This was why I asked Ezra to bring me here. Yet, I almost couldn’t will myself to go through with leaving him now.
My emotions became inexplicably and unusually complex, and the joy I should feel over finding my coat remained absent. My hands trembled when I pulled the shirt over my head and I barely managed stepping out of the pants. If my behavior baffled Ezra before, then I could only imagine what he would think after he saw this. Rushing down the beach, I sprinted right past him and scooped up the sealskin in one fluid motion before racing across the wet sand toward the freezing water.
“Kai?”
There it was—the confusion in Ezra’s voice already so apparent. I didn’t look back after I dove into the next wave. While the cold ocean water gnawed at my skin, my only consolation was that I would be in my coat soon. If only it could comfort me more than physically.
Ezra continued calling for me once I became encased in the sudden blubbery warmth, yet I didn’t break the surface again. Instead, I pushed deeper, my flippers propelling me faster than human limbs ever could. Nor did I look back while I swam farther and farther from the shoreline and toward the quiet void of the ocean floor. Not once could I even dare to glance back, for fear of those bright eyes of his changing my mind yet again.
* * *
EZRA
I was unsure how long I’d been sitting in the sand and muttering to myself, trying to comprehend what I saw. Resting my elbows on my crossed legs, I put my head in my hands and rubbed my scalp with my fingers. Even after my eyes watered from strain, I continued to stare at the lapping tide for an answer that refused to make itself apparent. Ishmael softly whined beside me and rested his dripping head on my lap. He seemed just as bewildered as I was.