Page 50 of Devour
“That’s not what happened, but even if it were, making out is not hooking up.” My grumbled rebuttal sounded unconvincing, even to me.
“And that time senior year I caught him in your dorm room,” Asher supplied. He began ticking off more examples on his fingers, which did not give me hope he would finish soon. “And the first time we came here, when you disappeared within minutes of each other. And that time you met Garrett after Em got engaged, then came back with him in tow and in a remarkably better mood. And now, I’m thinking, very likely after the wedding.”
“Still, did not have sex. None of those times,” I said.
“Other times?” Owen asked.
“Never had sex with each other,” I repeated.
“Then what were you doing? Because I know I heard something that sounded like sex that time in college,” Asher chuckled. Good to see he could look back and laugh at that now.
“None of your business.” At my response, Owen shrugged and shook his head, so I felt the need to reiterate. “Not sex.”
“I cannot believe I didn’t realize this sooner,” Asher said, with a hand to his forehead. “This is one of those ‘above the waist and over the pants so it doesn’t count’ loopholes, huh?”
“No,” I huffed, despite Asher describing what he did not understand with surprising accuracy. “But even if it were, still not sex.”
“Oh, Eli,” Owen said with a deep sigh. “Why do you torture yourself?”
“Must be a hobby, I suppose.”
“Seriously, knowing the two of you is like watching a very drawn out and frustrating drama unfolding in real life,” Owen said, gesturing more with each sentence. “I know you like him. Asher knows you like him. Ember knows you like him. Literally, everyone who knows the both of you knows you like him.”
“Except Rhory,” I pointed out.
Owen rolled his eyes. “I’d accept that as a valid answer except we all can see Rhory also likes you. Immensely.”
“He does not.”
Maybe to them, Rhory seemed enamored. He wasn’t. Sure, we were friends now. But at the end of the day, I was his meal of choice and the sentiment ended there. Being reminded of that truth never failed to depress me.
Asher shook his head while Owen gave up and let his forehead plunk onto the table.
“You don’t understand,” I continued. “I’m neither oblivious nor dense. We care about each other very much. And okay, just this once I will admit there is mutual attraction. Doesn’t matter. He likes what he gets out of me. Not me. Big difference.”
“You know if you really are trying to convince us you’re not having sex, you’re not making a good argument for yourself,” Asher said with a raised brow.
“Friendship. Companionship, even. Comfort. Dependability. Trust. He doesn’t need me for sex. He gets plenty without my assistance, thanks.” Yet another subject I preferred not to dedicate much thought to.
“You almost sound jealous,” Owen quipped.
I rolled my eyes. “No.”
“How many more years do you plan on fighting this?” Asher asked.
“Five.” I shrugged.
“Oddly specific,” Owen said, before the answer dawned on him. “Oh, right. The pact.”
“He’s not actually going to do that.” Asher dismissed the idea with a small laugh.
“Why wouldn’t I?” I objected. Why not seemed obvious, but I wanted to hear his exact reasoning this time.
“Generally, when people get married, they at least admit they like each other first. Even better yet, that they’re in love,” Asher said.
With my stamina for this conversation depleted, I simply huffed in response. Wasn’t even worth trying to remind Asher that Rhory was the one who would never want a committed relationship with anyone—even me.
“Okay, now that we’ve got you pissed off, may as well dive into what we wanted to ask you.” Asher smiled. “Your non-denominational services still available?”