Page 33 of There I Find Hope

“You know, you don’t have to do anything to his room right now,” Noah said as she started in the direction of the bedrooms.

“I know. I thought about shutting the door and not thinking about it. Do you think that it will get easier to open it after some time has passed?”

Her mother said time healed all wounds. It made things easier. Would next year this time be just as hard?

“I think the first time is always going to be hard. No matter when it is. But, just guessing here, because I have no experience, I’d say that the longer you wait, the easier the first time will be.”

She nodded. Looking down the hall, she saw his door was closed.

“Then I think I’ll wait.” She didn’t think she was taking the coward’s way out. She was making a decision based on facts. It was a fact that she’d already done a lot today, and probably doing more wasn’t a smart idea. It was a fact that time did make things easier. It eased the pain, blurred the memories, and she would have time between to make new memories. To realize that her life could be full, even though she would always miss her son.

“Thanks for doing this with me,” she said.

“My pleasure. Do you think you’re going to stay with your mom?” he asked as she turned and didn’t go into her bedroom either. That would be hard. But she didn’t really need to. She could grab some more clothes, but she’d managed to live this long with what she had, so it wouldn’t be a problem to continue.

“No. I don’t think so,” she said, lifting her chin, although her words were thoughtful and not determined. “I think I’m going to open my candy shop again. Mom has been gracious to me, letting me hang out there, but I think I’m ready to start back out on my own two feet.”

“A month and a half isn’t a very long time to grieve. Not for something like this.”

“Really? It feels like I’ve been in this pit for a really long time. Feels like it’s more than past time for me to get out and join the living again.”

“I’m not an expert, but this feels like one of those things that different people take different times for. I think the important thing is keeping your mindset in the right direction and not allowing yourself to get bitter and angry, either at God, or yourself, or anything else. And you’ve done that beautifully.”

She smiled and looked up at him, suddenly very aware of their joined hands and their close proximity.

“I appreciate the compliments, but I appreciate even more the fact that you were here with me.” Her smile widened. She had a letter to write, but she also had a man in front of her who was solid and strong and dependable. And was willing to be patient with her when she needed it. Willing to be with her when she just needed a body, someone warm and strong to lean on.

It’s what she’d always wanted in a man. It’s what Glenn never was and what Noah was naturally.

She had been foolish when she was younger.

Chapter 13

Dear Business Boy,

I think I’m ready. I’m ready to... I hate to say move on, although that’s kind of what it is. But I’m ready to start living again. Holding the memories close, of course. I don’t ever want to feel like Blake wasn’t an important part of my life. And I’ll always look forward to getting to heaven and seeing him. But in the meantime, it’s important that I start doing what God wants me to do. Your letters have been a lifesaver at a time when my life seemed rather hopeless.