Page 76 of Mile High Salvation

Twenty-Five

Eric

Idrive home, angry.

Angry at myself for slipping out while she slept so peacefully.

Angry for even hooking up with her at all.

What was I thinking?

Carter said I was stupid and immature. To merely tell her how I felt. Well, I did. And she told me she loves me too.

So... what’s the problem?

The problem is that I’m going to taint her. She needs a good man, not me and I had no right to indulge.

I was selfish to go to the Mile High Rooms last night, just to get a taste of her. And before I could tell her it was me, she somehow already knew, and then left. So, I chased her.

But honestly... how long did I think I could keep up the ruse and her not figure it out? Even in the pitch black, she knows every inch of my body, every smell, every curve of my face, of my intimate parts... like I know hers. There’s no hiding yourself when that person knows you so well.

She said she loves me. I shouldn’t be so closed off. I need to give her a chance, but I need time to think. Last night was a whirlwind of emotions. We fucked, she left. I chased her down and we came together, a wonderful, perfect night of love and catching up.

And then I bolted.

I scrub a hand along the back of my neck, and then rake my fingers through my hair. I punch the steering wheel. “Argh!”

I shake my head as I drive toward home. My phone buzzes, and at a stoplight, I look at it.

Christa:Whatever I did, or didn’t do, I’m sorry.

The fuck?

She thinks she did something wrong?

Of course she does, you idiot!my subconscious screams at me.

I throw the phone down and stew in my guilty thoughts until I get home.

***

“You really are a fuckingidiot. What’s your problem?” Carter shakes his head and opens the fridge, then throws a protein shake at me. “Maybe your brain needs more protein.”

I catch it and crack it open as I sit at a barstool in his kitchen. We finished playing tennis at the country club and I asked to come back to their house so I wouldn’t have to wallow in my misery alone.

“If you break her heart again, I’m going to seriously hurt you,” Taryn says, coming out of the bathroom. “Damn, I’m sick of peeing every thirty minutes.”

“TMI,” I mutter, taking a big swig of the thick chocolate shake.

“You have no idea,” Carter murmurs, drinking his.

Taryn grabs a bowl of cut up fruit from the fridge, throws the plastic wrap covering away, and plops down next to me. “I’m just confused about this whole thing. Why aren’t you with her? Why did you leave her this morning?”

I’d already told them both about the entire interaction.

“Because.” I rake a hand through my hair. “Because... I don’t fucking know!”

She places a hand on my arm. “Because you’re scared, that’s why. Listen, brother. I told her to stay away from you. Over a year ago when you got out, I told her, ‘Leave my brother alone, he needs to find a way in this world, get back on his feet. Don’t distract him with sex or a relationship.’ Did she listen? No.”