Page 14 of One Bossy Date
“What, she has to be eligible for the goddamn Playboy Mansion before you’ll look her way?”
“No. She needs to be intelligent, challenging, strong-minded.”
Dax rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t talking about finding a wife, Anders. Just a good fucking lay. A tension release, if you will.”
“What tension?” I raised an eyebrow. “I don’t have tension.”
“Whatever, bro. I’m actually glad to get away from the rafting.” He looked somber now, a glum expression casting his eyes down to the floor. “She did me a favor.”
At first, I wondered what exactly that was about, but then I remembered something our mother had spoken of last week. Things started to come together like a puzzle. Dax’s odd behavior, the clumsy, slow movements. “Mom mentioned that you had aminormishap? Is that why you wanted to get away?” I sat back in my chair, studying him for a moment. Even with our age gap—he was twenty-eight, I was forty-three—we were close.
Dax’s body drooped almost imperceptibly. “Yeah…last week, the raft I was guiding overturned in the rapids. Guests got away, but my safety jacket hooked onto the boat, and I ended up being taken for a ride under the water.”
“Are you kidding?” Sitting up again, I scanned his body. “Why didn’t you tell me? God damnit. Are you okay?”
“Nah, not really.” He lifted the side of his T-shirt to reveal big blue blotched bruises with red scrapes along his ribcage. “I hit the rocks, broke a few ribs, but managed to get my jacket released before it got any worse.”
“Jesus, Dax. Mom didn’t say it wasthisserious. Did you go to the hospital? Why the hell didn’t I hear about this?”
“Well, I didn’t tell Mom how serious it was, of course. I told her it was nothing. You know her, she’d have forced me to live with her until I’m healed. Fuck that shit. I’m fine.” He shook his head, avoiding eye contact. “I didn’t call you because you’re so busy with allthis.” Gesturing to the entirety of my office, his fingers circled the air. “And I couldn’t lay my issues on your table when they’re so trivial compared—”
“For fuck’s sake, Dax, this isn’t trivial,” I interrupted him. “You’re my brother, and I want to be there for you if you get hurt. I’m sure that physically you can handle it, but…this company doesn’t mean shit to me compared to your life.”
There was an awkward moment of silence.
Then he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and running his hands over his face. “Well, thanks, but I was all in my own head, anyway—didn’t wanna talk to anyone. It actually scared me…you know?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, I realized that could have been it.”
His eyes connected with mine.
“Yeah, it could have, but it wasn’t,” I said firmly. “You’re here now, and that’s what matters.”
“Not really. I think there’s a lot more that matters.”
I gestured for him to continue.
“Like—” He seemed to think it over before picking up where he’d left off. “I’ve tried everything I wanted to, seen every place, done all the cool shit. I don’t have any regrets for the life I’ve lived so far. But, now that I’m without a job—it feels like I’m without a purpose. Every time this happens, I think, ‘What the hell do I do now?’ or ‘Where do I go from here?’ But this time—this time, I think I wanna find something to do for the rest of my life. Something I belong to, that’ll give me a reason to get up each day.”
With a slow nod, I agreed. “This is good to hear, brother. Even though it’s difficult, what you’ve been through seems to have knocked some sense into you.”
He shook his head, his eyes still trained on mine. “Don’t even say it.”
“Say what?”
“I’m still not going to take over the company.”
Of course not. If there was one thing Dax hated more than anything, it was other people’s plans for him. His freedom was more important to him than anything else, something I could understand, even if I didn’t always like it. “Mom would be ecstatic. Dad would’ve wanted it.” I sighed, spearing my fingers through my hair. “I’d like it.”
“Yeah…but…”
“Don’t you think it will give you a purpose? You belong here. It’s your damn name on the wall.”
“No…it’s yours.” He rearranged his tie. “You’re the first son—you’re the one with the CEO mindset. I’ll only drive it further into ruin.”
“No, you won’t.”