Page 94 of One Bossy Date
Quickly, I bent down and put his blanket back over his lap.
My hand grazed something that was most certainly not his thigh. To make matters worse, my hand stopped right in its tracks on top of that very something. To make matters even worse thanthat, my hand definitely double-checked that very something by stroking up and down and from left to right. You know, just to make sure I knew what I was dealing with. I mean, any girl would do the same in my position, right?
Don’t delude yourself, Zoe. You’re groping him. Quit it.That was the angel on my shoulder.
His eyebrows lifted, and he seemed to want to laugh.
In less than a second, I stood to my full height as my desire screamed at me.Jesus!His package was right there, ripe for the picking. I’d literallytouchedit. And I’d definitely felt it jerk.
I could just sleep with him one more time…
No!My conscience reiterated that it was ahardno. Or was it that damn angel? Right now, I didn’t really like her much. She wassucha Debbie Downer.
Reluctantly making up my mind, I stepped back and said, “I’ll, uh, see you in the morning? Christmas morning,yay.” My enthusiasm was forced, and he likely noticed. I wanted to slap my forehead and maybe disappear.
His brow furrowed. “You sure?”
“Yep!”Nope. Not at all. I am not sure in the least. But, this is what Ihaveto do. Right?
“All right,” he rumbled. “I’ll see you then.”
Turning around, I closed my eyes, regretting my decision so fucking much.
But all I needed to do to take that first step was remind myself that he had no intention of ever being with me for real.
Keyword: self-respect.
Luckily, I had enoughself-respectto know what was right for me.
32
ZOE
Fuck self-respect. Ihatedself-respect. All it was, was a way of denying yourself what you really craved. I lay in a T-shirt and G-string—I hadn’t bothered to change when I’d crawled into bed. I tried to appease myself, to imagine Anders and reach a freaking climax, just so I could fall asleep and forget about him.
Butno. It didn’t work. I couldn’t even orgasm now. My clit was broken.
I was wide awake and mad at myself for being so fucking careful with my heart.
Who needed a heart anyway, right?
It hadn’t been twenty minutes since I’d left him in the living room, when I heard a soft noise at my door.
OMG.
Knock. Knock.
“Zoe?” Anders’s voice rumbled.
Thank God! Thank you, Universe!
I jumped out of bed with world-record speed—flying across the room with turbo wings—and opened the door, almost knocking it against my toes from the swing.
Anders stood with his hands in his pockets, his head hanging.
“Oh, hey, it’s you. Wasn’t expecting you,” I said, trying to steady my breathing and appear as calm as a cucumber. Pretty sure I was failing on that front.
He looked up. “Hey. Yeah, it’s me. You were expecting someone else? I just wanted to check if you’re really okay. You didn’t seem—”