Page 60 of The Forever One
“It’s a long story.” The last time I saw him, his handsome face was contorted with pain and hatred. Anger and blame. But here and now, all I see are the features of the man I met in my favorite Italian grocery store. I thought it was kismet, some kind of gift from the universe. In some ways, he was. He brought me Marco.
“We’ve got nothing but time, Nathaniel.” Sitting feels wrong, like I’m having a good time with the guy. That’s not my goal here. I want answers, no more, no less.
“Skitt—”
“Don’t you fucking dare, Nathaniel Reed. You don’t get to call me that anymore. “You lost every privilege and any friendship I was willing to offer you when you tried to fucking rape me!” My voice has slowly grown louder so that I’m now shouting, tears stinging my eyes. I guess I’m not so numb to my emotions, after all. “You lied to me, over and over again, trying to get revenge for your mother when, in actual fact, it was she who killed your dad. It had fuck all to do with me. I was her scapegoat and you allowed her to manipulate you. Then you went and lied some more—and I’ll say it again because I really want to hammer home how fucking sick this is—before you tried torapeme in my own apartment!”
My breaths are heavy and I’m trying my damndest to keep those tears at bay because I am not going to waste any of them on him.
“Ski—”
I raise my brow in a ‘are you fucking kidding me’ gesture and he quickly amends what he’s about to say.
“River, I’m sorry. I—”
“Pfft.” I can’t help myself.
“If I could take it all back, I would do it in a heartbeat. I wasn’t in my right mind. It’s no excuse, but I found out my mom had been drugging me. With what, I have no idea, but it affected me mentally. I thought I was going crazy but it turns out my mom had a lot to answer for. I didn’t know she was responsible for my dad until recently either, and…” He pauses and inhales deeply, tears beginning to pool in his eyes. “And my wife. I know it’s no excuse, I really do, but I was blinded by my grief.”
There’s that funny old word that means so many different things to each person in this room. Even though what he did and how he acted with me is unacceptable, sick, twisted, all the things, I kind of understand it. Especially considering where I’m going when I’ve finished with him in this room.
“I really did love you, River. And I’m so fucking sorry. So, so fucking sorry.” Some of those tears escape, slowly sliding down his cheek before he puts his head in his hands in shame. He’s full-on crying now, his head in his hands as his body shakes through his sobs.
These are the moments I wish I wasn’t so empathetic. Seeing him like this is making me lose all the numbness I thought I didn’t want. Turns out, feeling numb was better than feeling like complete shit for so many reasons. Makes me want to cry too.
“I don’t blame you for what you did, either. You said no. I should have listened, and for that I’ll always feel shame, but I really am sorry, River. So sorry.” He lowers his head again as more tears fall, and for what it’s worth, I believe him.
I’m not ready to let him know that though. Truth be told, his suffering makes me feel better, which is totally fucked up, but at this point, it is what it is. His suffering still doesn’t negate my own.
“I need to know what happened. How are you alive?” The fact that he isn’t being salty about me basically leaving him for dead has me a little confused. Being in this room for so long, around Nathaniel Reed, Marco at my back, has my emotions growing with every second that passes, making me wish for the lack thereof that I had when I walked in.
“Well, I was in a coma for about three months, so I don’t know exactly, but my mom told me the Ambrosios’ inside man brought me to her. She paid private doctors and basically made a hospital room for me in her house. I swear, I didn’t know what they all had planned, Elizabeth was so kind to begin with…” He trails off, as if his memories are much better than the present… which I’d have to agree with, considering he’s currently chained to a table in tears, accused of attempting to rape the most dangerous man in the world’s wife.
The mention of that family’s name causes me to inhale a sharp breath through my nose to contain my rage toward them.
“I-I’m just… so sorry. Words can’t convey how sorry I truly am, for everything.” His tears continue to fall, harder now, and he holds his head in his hands again. This time, his body shakes and it’s almost heartbreaking to see him sob like this… almost.
The need to ask him more questions is overpowered by my need to deal with the second part of the reason I’m even in this warehouse. I’ve been emotionally battered recently and all this is doing is reminding me of things long passed. Things I want to begin to move on from.
While I’m positive that this conversation will eventually help to soothe some of my internal wounds, closure and all that, it hasn’t happened yet.
“I’m sorry things had to turn out the way they have, Nathaniel, and I appreciate your apologies. I’ll take them into consideration, and I might one day forgive you. But as it stands, I have my closure, and I hope you have yours. The best thing for you to do would be to find another state to live in and never let me or my family see your face again.”
Fuck, all that was difficult to say, but I’m thankful for my experience as an escort because it’s given me the confidence and skills to fake it when I need to.
Without waiting for Nathaniel to stop sobbing or say another word, I turn and walk out of the room, straight past Marco. If I stay in here for a moment longer, I may just break down in tears too.
Marco’s voice is low and deep as I move past him, but I hear him all the same.
“She may be generous with her forgiveness, but I sure as fuck never will.” Then he follows me out, closing the door behind him and pinning me against the wall, his hands on the sides of my face and his hips keeping mine in place. “I’m so fucking proud of you, Tesoro.” His lips are on mine in the next second, but it’s not the bruising and frantic kind of kiss I’ve grown accustomed to, it’s soft, gentle, and slow.
“Nathaniel mentioned the Ambrosios had an inside man. Did we know about that?” I didn’t want to show my concern in the room with Nathaniel because that could have been considered a weakness.
“We did, Tesoro. J dealt with them. Now, are you ready for part two? Or do you need a break?”
After many long discussions, we agreed Nathaniel would be allowed to go free before today, but he will be followed, watched, and made to leave, living as far away from us as possible. Elizabeth, however, is not so lucky. She’s waiting in one of these other rooms too, only her fate is somewhat different from Nathaniel’s.
I made a promise to that bitch on the day she came into my house and offered to help me find Marco, and keeping that promise is exactly why I need to lock my mask in place, be someone else, because this is not something I would ever do. But itissomething a vengeful mafia queen would do and, in this moment, that’s who I am.