Page 68 of Five Gold Rings

‘No, just he wanted some engraving done on the ring last minute, so we dropped it in ourselves.’

‘On Christmas Day?’ she says, horrified.

‘It’s a long story. It’s a very bespoke delivery service. Plus, we love a wedding,’ Joe adds, in his curtain smock.

She laughs to herself. ‘Then that is very cool. I appreciate that. But this? This is not a wedding. This is chaos. There’s a bloody sheep. There’s three men dressed like a camel.’

There’s something about Faith that I like. I sensed that positive energy straight away when she came into the shop. Even now she just exudes cool calm, she’s letting it all happen around here: the animals, the masses of children running around, the nativity and wedding happening all at the same time.

‘And you don’t feature in the nativity?’ I ask her.

‘Nah, I’m just taking it all in before I marry my man.’

‘But you’re so very chilled,’ I tell her, in admiration.

‘Oh, babe, I won’t lie – I’ve been at the rum punch but what is there to stress about when you’re about to marry your soul mate, am I right?’ Her happiness shines out of her and lights up the room. This is a girl who is so content, the world could crumble around her, the sheep could eat her veil, but she’d still have her love. ‘Plus, I’ve known Aunty J since I was a baby. I know what she’s about.’

‘Oh, so this is a proper childhood sweethearts thing then?’ Joe asks her.

‘Mate, born in the same month and two streets apart for most of our lives. Aunty J likely has pictures of us naked in her garden running through the sprinklers.’

‘It’s the wedding programme cover,’ she cackles from the other side of the room.

‘Don’t get me wrong. We haven’t been joined at the hip our whole lives but there’s something there, I can’t describe it. Some would call it destiny.’

‘Or stupidity,’ a pregnant woman says from next to us, giggling and waddling over. ‘Love leads to this sort of situation if you’re not careful,’ she tells us, pointing to her belly. ‘You must be my hubs then,’ she adds, putting her hand out to Joe.

I jolt before I realise what she means.

‘Yes, I am Joseph. Nice to meet you, Mary,’ he says, shaking her hand.

Faith looks him up and down. ‘Well, it’s good to have you here. Eve told us in the shop she had a boyfriend…’

I blush instantly. ‘No, I did have a boyfriend.’

‘You did…?’ Faith asks, her eyebrows arching.

‘It’s a long story. This is… We both work for the jewellers’. This is my Joe. I mean, we’re mates…’

I’m not sure why I fumble my words. He’s not my own personal Joe. To make myself look more like a dick, I play punch his arm a little too hard and laugh.

‘Well, I like me a long story especially if it distracts me from this madness,’ Faith tells her. ‘Tell me everything. Joseph, be a good hubs, stay with your woman,’ she orders us.

She links an arm into mine and leads me away as I watch Joe converse with his fake pregnant wife. I’m not quite sure how my messy love life tales can distract everyone, but she leads me over to a corner of that space, where a literal herd of women in matching dresses are doing each other’s hair and make-up, pulling at corsets and downing shots.

‘Everyone, this is Eve, she brought the ring,’ she says, sitting down to adjust her eyelashes. ‘So, tell me everything…’

‘The short version is that I caught my ex cheating two days ago,’ I say, plainly.

That corner of the room suddenly goes deathly quiet.

‘Excuuuuuse me?’ a bridesmaid squeals. ‘At Christmas? Who is this man?’

All her assorted bridesmaids stand there aghast at what they’re hearing. It is a good story, I guess, and I will admit to liking their collective shock and immediate hatred for Chris. I also like how much easier it is for those words to fall out of me now without me breaking down into a ball of blubbering emotion.

‘Was with him for three years, caught him in the shower with a work mate. Found out he was going to propose over Christmas and yeah, we’re not together anymore.’

The women around me all respond with a mixture of anger, cheering and shock. Faith comes over to hug me tightly. ‘Babe, that’s bloody awful,’ she mutters. I shrug my shoulders, not knowing how to respond. It was awful. But it’s happened, it’s just a shame you have to live through these things first before they become stories you tell to a bridal party, none of whom you really know. ‘How the hell are you still standing?’ she says, looking into my eyes. I shrug, not sure how to respond.