Page 79 of Five Gold Rings
‘Have you seen him? I thought he was back here? We need to go deliver another ring.’
Dad looks around. ‘Anyone seen the lad who brought the turkey?’ he bellows through the kitchen.
‘He headed outside. I assumed he’d gone out for a smoke?’ a voice pipes up.
But he doesn’t smoke. I pop my head out of the kitchen door. He’s not there.
Dad’s gaze follows me. ‘He was chatting to Santa before he went out, maybe ask him?’
I nod and head back out to the party in full swing where Santa has stopped dancing and has started to give out gifts to all attending. An old lady waves around socks that look like cashmere. I think I may want to get in on that.
‘Santa?’ I say, tapping him on the shoulder.
He turns round to clock me and beams. ‘EEEEEEVE!’ He gives me a huge hug and then realises something. ‘I have something for you, hold up…’ He rifles through his sack and pulls out a gift, wrapped in holly paper and hands it to me. ‘This is because you’ve been so good this year.’
‘Thank you, Santa,’ I say, putting the gift to one side. ‘Just checking, have you seen Joe?’
‘Was he wearing a dinner jacket?’
‘Yes, that’s the one.’
‘He had to go make a phone call and then he had to go home.’
I stand there glued to the spot for a moment as the party happens around me. He’s gone? Home?
Noel stands nearby, noticing my expression and comes over. ‘All OK here?’
‘Joe’s gone. What do you mean, a phone call?’ I ask Santa, worried now that something has happened with his family.
‘Something about giving someone a ring,’ he says, shrugging. ‘I’m sorry. Open your gift?’ he tells me, but socks don’t feel like the answer at the moment. ‘You should…’ But before he has a chance to finish his sentence, an old lady pulls him back into the party. I should do what?
Noel stands close to me, his arms around me. Joe has gone? Without me? I’m not sure what happened. Maybe Joe was worried about the final delivery, the fact that we were running late. But even then, I just thought he would wait, not leave. This was our thing. We deliver these five rings together. I didn’t know how it was going to or supposed to end but it wasn’t destined to be like this. I have things to say to him. Should I go and find him? Has something happened where he’s had to rush home? None of this makes sense. I get out my phone and scroll through texts and messages.
‘Eve, talk to me,’ Noel says, worriedly. ‘Are you OK?’
‘Not really… I just…’ And I’m not sure why but tears start to fill my eyes. Maybe I just misread the signs. I’ve been so cruelly dumped that maybe I latched on to Joe unfairly and poured whatever hope I had left into him. He obviously felt differently. We were never that close before this – work colleagues really – so he shouldn’t have felt obliged to stick around. That said, I can’t help but feel incredibly crap, though, at this very moment.
‘Shit, are you crying?’ Noel asks me. ‘Don’t cry.’
‘It’s just… it’s been a manic few days. I haven’t even caught a breath.’
‘This is why you should call me when you’re dumped. Stay. And when we’re done here, I’ll wrap you in a duvet and you can hibernate with us over Christmas with box sets and a trifle.’
A trifle. And just like that I rewind through all the moments of the last few days. Sharing a trifle with Joe on his sofa, patting his back while he threw up on a boat, mistletoe kisses on a rooftop, grand proposals in Trafalgar Square, stealing an ex’s turkey, looking after the baby Jesus – all these distractions, that helped me forget, and that meant something, to me at least. I wish I could thank him for that much. It started off so badly, but somehow, it’s turned into the best memorable Christmas ever. Maybe I’ll get to tell him in the New Year. Maybe I’ve well and truly lost him. I really hope I haven’t.
Joe
‘Why are you dressed as James Bond?’ Carrie asks me on Facetime, as I sit in this cold, half-empty car park this early Christmas evening, looking up at the large grey building in front of me. ‘Is this part of your stripping thing? Is this why you’re not home yet? You’re letting some women see your goldfinger?’ Carrie cackles down the phone, the sort of laugh that lets you know she’s seeing in the festive season with a pint glass of Baileys. ‘Everyone, come and see Joe,’ she announces to the room and several faces cram into the screen to make fun and point.
‘One, I am not a stripper and two, I was actually at a wedding in an actual church so sod off and get your mind out of the gutter. Hello… Hello… Hi!’ I say, trying to greet all the nephews, nieces and sisters as they pass in and out of the call in our family living room. And despite any low feeling that sits in my soul, to see my parents’ golden Christmas tree in the same corner of the room as always, Monopoly money strewn about the place, and my nephews in matching onesies is suddenly comforting, and I feel a glimmer of happiness knowing I’ll be there soon, with all of them, the ultimate Christmas distraction.
‘SANTA CAME, UNCLE JOE!’ a nephew bellows in a way that tells me we need to limit the sugar intake.
‘Did he leave anything for me?’ I ask.
‘No, because Mum said you were a dick for not being here,’ Carrie says.
I hear echoes of laughter and scolding from other sisters as Carrie takes me away from the conversation so she can take the mick out of me from the hallway of the family home instead.