Page 84 of Five Gold Rings

I look down, biting my thumbnail. I think back to a time when a woman came into Caspar & Sons to get a ring refitted and she told us about her arthritic dog who had to be carried up the stairs and I cried. I do sway at countertops. In that shop. Because the Caspars play a lot of waltz music. When I work there. With Joe.

‘Evie, I’m so up for this. I can go and fuck up his LinkedIn profile. We can burn stuff,’ Noel says, still scanning the letter, fuming. ‘I think if I make some phone calls then I can find someone else to do it. I am sure Dad would loan us some money for that.’

Noel assumes my silence to be born from the same feeling so sits me down on the sofa, trying his best to work me out.

‘I couldn’t bear to read the letter, so I made Joe read it out to me. This is not what he read out to me. He said something completely different.’

‘To spare you this?’ Noel says, holding the letter up. I nod and he pouts because in amongst all the lovely things he did say, that hinted towards everything he had noticed, to protect me in that moment was a kind thing to do. And the tears start to roll out of me now because he does care. He possibly even likes me? He noticed and remembered all those things about me. I am so bloody confused. Then where is he now?

‘Oh, Eve… Please don’t,’ Noel says, throwing his arms around me. I lean into him and sob on to his chest.

‘This is such a mess,’ I blub.

‘You’re telling me… You’re snotting all over me.’ Noel puts an arm around me. ‘Still the messiest crier I know, so much snot. Do you have any tissues?’

‘Check my handbag.’ He reaches over and puts my handbag between us, taking out keys, a bag of Haribo and my phone, pressing a button by accident to see a screensaver of Joe and I took in the back of his car, glow into life. And then he places a gift next to me. It’s wrapped in holly-patterned paper with a red ribbon and a small tag tucked into it. I didn’t see the tag before. Santa gave me that gift at the party. He told me to open it. Instinctively, I pull at the tag to read it.

For the very amazing Eve… Because everyone should know your name. Merry Christmas. Joe x

I open the gift and look at it, my mouth open in shock.

‘You have a lot of shit in your handbag, you know. You’re basically carrying around half a make-up counter in there. Why do you have talc in here, but no tissues?’ he says, before looking up.

I clutch the gift in my hand, running my fingers over it. I can’t. How? I look up at Noel, overcome by some emotion that takes my breath away.

‘Joe. I have to find him. Tonight.’

Joe

Ring 5: Round cut, solitaire, 3ct diamond, yellow gold infinity band. For Natalia.

The door of Room Four is slightly ajar as I approach it and when I enter, I see a man lying there in a bed, staring at a screen propped up on a table, doing his best to laugh but coughing abrasively. I knock on the door and he looks over.

‘Jesus Christ.’

‘Not quite, I believe he made his big appearance earlier today,’ I try to joke.

The man furrows his brow at me, not knowing if that’s a decent joke or not. He turns the screen off looking at me suspiciously.

‘Please tell me you’re not a stripper? Are you a gift? I did tell work I’d be very happy with vouchers.’

I shake my head. ‘You’re not the first person to think that today. But alas, no.’

‘Well, you are very overdressed for a doctor unless that’s how they’re serving me dinner now, full silver service,’ he tells me. It pains me to be able to scan the wires and IV bags, and the pallor of his skin to know that this man is quite unwell but also, sadly, not much older than his thirties. Beside his bed, there are photos, drawings from young children and items from home to provide some familiarity. ‘I mean, I’d kill for a steak.’

‘How would you like it cooked, Mr Peare?’

‘Medium rare, chips – chunky chips, not skinny fries – and a peppercorn sauce if that’s on the menu,’ he says, smiling. ‘Who are you, really?’

‘I’m from Caspar & Sons.’

He sighs. ‘The ring people. I am impressed. This is quite a service. On Christmas Day. I told Mr Caspar to deliver it for the New Year.’

‘It’s a special service. I’ll assume he just wanted you to have the ring.’

‘Before I carked it?’

‘Because it’s Christmas?’