Page 66 of Before I Tell You

“N-Nat-Natalie …” is all I can get out of my mouth before she takes the pizza box from my hands and places it on the bench beside us.

Twenty-One

NATALIE

“IT’S SHOW TIME,” I say to myself, looking into the floor-length mirror in my room after hearing Nathan ring the doorbell.

The second after my mom and Jason left for the night, leaving me with the house to myself, I grabbed my phone to text Nathan, asking him to come over.

And with only a short amount of time to get ready, I somehow pulled it off.

Every inch of my body was freshly shaven, and my hair was hanging in loose curls. I had found a pink satin nightie, which I had purchased years ago with no real intention of ever wearing it, in the back of my closet with the tags still on it. It was a little tighter in the bust than I remember, causing me to spill over the edge, but it fits.

I trace my hands over the soft material, feeling confident in my skin and ready for Nathan to see me.

I turn away from the mirror and walk to the top of the stairs. It’s time to let Nathan in and get this night started. But just as I take a step down, I suddenly realize I’ve forgotten about an essential item, which sends me into a panic.

Shit.

I forgot condoms.

I forgot the damn condoms.

Think. Think. Think.

That’s it!

I rush into Jason’s room, and as I open the drawer to his nightstand, I pray I don’t find anything in there that will totally gross me out. Located in the very back of the drawer is an open box of condoms. So I grab a few, not knowing how many I will need, and run back to my room, pretending that I didn’t just steal condoms from my brother.

If he ever finds out, I think I will be the first person in history to die of actual embarrassment.

I hear the doorbell ring again, and a complete panic sets in. My heartbeat quickly increases as I think about what I’m about to do. Then, looking in the mirror one last time, I muster my confidence and march out of my room in nothing but lingerie.

You got this.

I walk down the staircase, practicing my breathing with each step.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

As I place my trembling hand on the doorknob and turn it, I take one last big breath.

Slowly I open the door while standing behind it and poke my head around so Nathan can’t fully see me. I smile when I see him, and he smiles back, which instantly erases any fears I have about tonight.

God, I love his smile.

“Hi, beautiful. I didn’t know if you would be hungry or not, so I picked up a pizza for us,” Nathan says as he walks by me, looking straight ahead, oblivious to what I am wearing.

I shut the door and lean against it, waiting for Nathan to turn around. My eyes close for a split second, and when I open them, Nathan is facing me with his mouth hanging open.

“N-Nat-Natalie …” Nathan utters in almost a whisper.

I take the pizza box out of his hands and place it on the bench against the wall near us.