Page 48 of Endlessly Raphael
“Oh, Haven.”
“I’m okay.” He wipes his eyes. “I just want you to know, if I tell you it means you have all of me. My therapist told me that’s how I would know it was the best love. I wouldn’t be afraid of it anymore.”
I lift his hand to my lips and kiss his palm. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to. I know it’s heavy. I guess as much as I talk about not wanting love, it’s deeper than that. Everybody wants love, I think. They just don’t want to be destroyed by it. I’m barely put together as it is.”
I move up his body and gaze down at his beauty. He blinks, releasing the tears that flooded his eyes. All the gods, he is stunning, even in his sadness. I could make it go away right now. I could compel his memory to erase the hurt he holds, but it’s wrong to use my power that way.
“Are you scared too, Rapha? Is that why you say you don’t want love? Because you’re scared of it like I am?” He smiles as he sniffs. “You can pretend it’s true so I don’t feel so lame right now.”
“Hey, your feelings are not lame. Not ever. That’s the first thing you need to know.”
He nods, but I see in his eyes that he doesn’t believe me.
“And yes, maybe it is fear that makes me keep my heart to myself. I haven’t explored it too deeply for a very long time, but your presence in my life is slowly changing that.”
“Okay.” Haven smiles, wiping away the remnants of his tears. “Now we know. If I tell you my secret, then it means I’m surrendering to you.”
“Then it’s only fair to reciprocate. I have a secret too, Haven.”
His face lights up. “Really? Okay, so is that our sign? If we share our secrets then it means…”
“It means we choose each other. It means it’s real.”
A genuine smile graces his pretty mouth. “Deal.”
EIGHTEEN
Haven
On a list of things I’d rather cut off my foot than do, dinner with my father is at the top. My churning stomach doesn’t help. The only reason I’m able to get through this is the handsome man turning onto the street where I grew up.
He drove one of his brother’s fancy cars—a Bugatti, for fuck’s sake. If that doesn’t impress my father, I don’t know what will.
As the gate to the house opens slowly, another wave of nausea hits me. “Fuck.”
“It’s going to be fine, Haven. We can get through this.”
Blowing out a breath, I squeeze my eyes shut. “I hate this, Rapha. I hate feeling so powerless and weak around him. It’s like being a child all over again.”
He slows the car, reaching to pull my hand into his. “You have the upper hand. Don’t forget that you’re the one with the power now. If he’s a smart man, he’ll recognize that.”
“He’s smart, but he’s a stubborn ass. It’s a family trait.”
“Then use it.” He kisses my cheek before driving onto the circular driveway. “Be stubborn. Hold your ground. You are no longer beholden to him for anything.”
I nod, shaking my shoulders out to release some stress. “You’re right.” I flip the visor down to study my reflection. Eyeliner still in place, lips still glossy. “He hates when I wear makeup, so of course I did a full face.”
“And you are stunning. Did you make that outfit too?”
“Yes.” I glance down at my white suit with hot-pink pinstripes and sky-high heels. “I feel good.”
“You look good, but most importantly, you’re in charge. This is nothing but a show for them. You have nothing to prove, not really. Not to them.”
“Right.”
“By Wednesday night, you’ll be a married man, and I’ll stay as long as you need me.”