Page 51 of Endlessly Raphael
We leave the dining room and enter the living room where the rest of the family sit on couches in stony silence. Raphael approaches my mother.
“Mrs. Samir, I do regret that we couldn’t stay for dinner. It smells lovely and I appreciate being invited into your home.”
She nods, gripping his hands. “I’m sorry for my husband. He’s so hardheaded when it comes to Haven. He’ll come around.”
I scoff at that. “No, he won’t. I’m sorry, Mom. I miss you, and I wish we could see each other more, but I know it’s easier for you if you stay away.”
She frowns and her eyes well with tears. “This is so difficult.”
Raphael puts his hand on her shoulder, and as she gazes up at him, she nods, as if she heard words he didn’t say.
“I can have a plate made for you,” she says quietly. “To take with you.”
“We’ll get food,” I say before kissing her cheek. “See ya.”
I take Raphael’s hand and lead him from the house. As soon as he opens the passenger door for me, my knees buckle and he catches me.
“I’ve got you,” he whispers.
“I know. I just can’t believe how much he hates me.”
“He doesn’t.” Rapha helps me into my seat and buckles the belt for me. I blink back the tears as I wait for him to join me.
Once he does, he starts the car and we leave. After we’re back on the main road, Raphael rubs my thigh. “I’m able to deeply sense people’s emotions,” he says. “Beyond their words and actions.”
“Like a psychic or something?”
“Different from that. We can call it an extra sense.”
“Okay.”
“Your father’s actions are mired in fear and insecurity, but not hate.”
“Insecurity? About what?”
“You.” He glances at me. “My guess would be he’s well aware of your potential, and maybe even knew your grandfather would go this route with his will. He’s terrified of losing it because he has nothing else. He’s made it his identity.”
I cross my arms over my chest to block the emotion trying to get through. “So what? He’s still a jerk.”
“He is. He doesn’t deserve you at all, but I wanted you to know, he doesn’t hate you.”
“Does it matter? If he treats me like he hates me, how is it different?”
“Because there’s hope.”
“Hope for what?”
“A change. Maybe it’ll never happen, but maybe he’ll wake up and see what he’s done. That’s his journey, but please, guard against letting hate take over your heart.”
“I want to hate him, Rapha. I want to hate him so much.”
“But you can’t.” He lifts my hand and kisses the back of it. “That’s why he doesn’t deserve you.”
“It’s also why I’m hurt. At least if I could hate him, I’d be indifferent.”
“Nope. Hate is an emotion too, and an all-consuming one. Just like fear, it takes over if you let it.”
“Yeah. I see your point.” I stare out the window for a second. “Ruining his life probably won’t make me happy, will it?”