Page 13 of Fight or Flight
In the back of my mind, I know I'll have to pay for it someday. Probably sooner than later.
CHAPTER V
CLAIRE
I’ve been walking on cloud nine ever since I met Aidan. I’m so happy that I could scream from the rooftops about how he makes me feel.
Even my therapist noticed my improved behavior and praised me for making progress. Of course, I didn’t share the reason for my good mood with her. If I could, I would keep what’s between me and Aidan hidden from the world forever.
Yes, I still worry about Jenny. And keep an ear out for any rumors regarding the sheriff or his missing daughter, but I won’t lie and say that my new relationship with Aidan didn’t push everything else into the background.
I’m completely obsessed with him and love to observe him when he thinks I’m not looking.
We’ve been sneaking around for three weeks. Yes, Aidan picks me up after school where everyone can see us, and we hang around at his house until it’s my time to come back home to my waiting, frowning father. What my dad doesn’t know, though, is that most nights, I sneak out as soon as the light in his bedroom turns off, going straight back to Aidan’s.
The way he awakens my body is just out of this world, and every time I think about something new that we did, my body grows hot. I’m becoming addicted to his loving touch, the soft words of praise, and the little noises he makes when I bring him pleasure.
Whenever he thinks I’m asleep, he turns on the little light and goes on to work on his art. Yes, I’ve seen it the day we met, but after that, they always stay hidden. I’m curious about it, but so far, he’s been too shy about it. Every time I bring it up, he clams up. Saying that he’s not ready to share it yet. I get it, but at the same time, it makes me sad that he doesn’t trust me yet, as if I would ever laugh at him or criticize anything he does. The man is perfection.
He tries to act tough and manly around his brother and his idiotic friends, but as soon as the door closes, keeping us safe from the world outside, he shows me his soft side. Aidan can be thoughtful, caring, and gentle. He can also goof around like no other, and I love it.
I think I love him.
Yet, there’s something indistinguishable between us—this intangible worry. Sometimes, I will catch him staring at me with a dose of fear or sadness. Sometimes, he smothers me with his affection, like he’s scared I’ll disappear or lose interest.
Which seems laughable to me. Because now, I can’t imagine a day without seeing Aidan. Touching Aidan, showing love to Aidan.
He’s all I can think about, and there is a small, tiny part of me that acknowledges that people would probably say it’s not healthy. Well, they can suck it because I don’t think I have ever been happier. I didn’t have a depressive episode since our paths crossed. And my anger outbursts are nonexistent.
So, maybe people just have the wrong idea of what’s healthy and what’s not.
As soon as I walk outside of school with a giant grin on my face, ready to meet the source of my happiness, I take a look around the parking lot.
For two weeks now, Aidan was waiting close to the parking lot, ready to give me a ride home or take me to his place. He’s barely attending school, busy with whatever Saint tells him to do, but he’s always sure to make it in time to pick me up. Today, however, I don’t notice him, and a pang of disappointment hits me like a sledgehammer. My grin transforms into a frown, and I step forward to search for Saint’s truck.
I wait for five minutes. Then I wait for ten minutes. When it’s apparent that he’s not going to show up, my heart crumbles, and I have to stop the ongoing tears.