Page 20 of Fight or Flight
My choice. Fuck, I have no idea what to do. But I know one thing. I can’t lose her. And it appears that whatever I decide, it can be the end of us.
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TURNED OUT, THINKING that we had a week to think about our options was not optimistic but downright naïve.
I’ve been pulling away a bit from Claire ever since Saint confessed to me, trying to distance myself enough to think about everything and see our relationship from a different perspective. And I know it left her confused with how cold I’ve been.
But in truth, it only made me realize that I’ll have to fess up to my crimes. And do it soon. I can’t just leave without telling her the truth. Also, there’s a part of me that truly hopes that she’ll find it in her big heart to understand my reasons and will forgive me. Maybe even join us and leave Bell Ridge.
After three days of putting it off, I finally decided that today is going to be the day. After picking up Claire from school, I will take her to the pier again and confess.
She’s been in a shitty mood, too, lately, and I watch her struggling with putting her clothes on, her movements jerky and impatient, as she’s getting ready for school.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to give you a ride to school?” I ask from my position on the bed.
Despite Saint's order, I’ve stopped going to school altogether now, knowing that I won’t be finishing high school anyway— at least not in this town.
“No, I told you it’s fine,” Claire huffs when the zipper on her sweatshirt jams, and she tugs on it.
I get up to grab her hands, and she looks up at me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she presents that fake smile of hers, and I have to refrain from rolling my eyes.
“Clearly not. I’m sorry I was blowing you off the past two days. I just had a lot on my mind lately,” I say in a gentle voice, keeping a strong hold on her palms when she tries to retreat from my touch.
“Well, maybe I did too. But you wouldn’t know that, right? I mean, you weren’t here. You dropped out of school, so clearly, you weren’t busy with studies either. I was sitting here at your house. Alone, Aidan. And you didn’t pick up your phone. I don’t even know what time you came back.”
The tears gathering in the corners of her eyes make me feel even worse than I already did. When they spill on her cheeks, I pull her into my arms.
“Hey, baby, don’t cry. I told you there was something important I had to think about. I’m sorry that I left. There are just things that you don’t know...”
She steps away from my embrace and crosses her arms, looking like a sad puppy. “Why is that, Aidan? Why are there things that you don’t want to share with me?”
“No, you’ve got it wrong. I do want to share everything with you. I do,” I press when she shoots me a doubtful look. “I’m scared, okay? I care about you. I love you and want to be with you. You know that. But there’s some shit that I’ve done that-“
My words are stopped by loud bangs coming from the front door, followed by a deafening bang.
Claire jumps back from my bedroom door in fear, and on instinct, I move her behind me, away from it.
Good thing that I did because in the next moment, it bangs open with force as two men in police uniforms step in with their guns raised.
“Madison PD, get on the ground now!” One of them orders, and I drop to my knees.
“Oh my God, what is happening?” I hear Claire cry as she retreats toward the wall that’s furthest away.
“Baby, just get on the ground, okay? You’re not the one they are looking for. So, they’re gonna let you out, but you need to listen to them,” I plead with her, barely noticing when the handcuffs land on my wrists after they are yanked behind my back.
Claire kneels slowly with her hands up, her eyes not leaving mine.
“What is happening?” She repeats in a trembling voice.
“I’m sorry. So sorry. I wanted to tell you tonight. I’m so sorry,” I start melting as tears come into my eyes. I don’t care if I show weakness in front of the officers.
An older man comes into the room, this one wearing a suit. A thick manila folder under his armpit before he looks into it.
“Which one are you then?” He asks without looking at me and flicks through the pages. “Ah! You must be the younger brother, then.”
He slams the folder shut and sniffles, eyeing me with cold eyes.