Page 95 of Love… It's Messy
Ainsley kisses Luke’s cheek.
“Guess what,” she says to him.
“What?”
“I love you, daddy.”
“Fuck me,” he declares, and before I can yell at him for profanity in front of our daughter, he lifts her up and spins her around on the carousel, causing her to squeal with laughter. “I love you too, kid.”
I sit back on the ride, rubbing my hand over my mouth as I try to catch my breath. The sight of Ainsley as happy as can be makes my heart soar.
The carousel ride ends, and Luke motions for the conductor to let it go one more time.
“You really like this ride,” I tease.
He sets Ainsley beside me and then takes a knee again. “One more thing. I had this all planned out in my head, and I just need to get one more thing done. Man, this is nerve-racking.”
Luke takes a deep breath. From inside his breast pocket, he takes out a square black velvet box. Opening it, he shows Ainsley the contents—a small, heart-shaped gold locket, etched with a piece of glass in the front.
He takes the locket out of the box and holds it in his palm as he shows her the inside. A photo of Luke is on the left, and one of me is on the right.
“In this locket are the two people who love you most in this world. No matter what happens, you should always remember that you were created with love. That love will make you stronger than anything.”
He closes the locket, and she places a finger on the front design. It’s a glass heart with what looks like white grains inside.
“What’s that?” she asks him.
“Sand. From a place called Palm Beach in Aruba. Someday, when you’re much older, Mom will tell you all about it. Maybe she’ll even take you there.”
“Will you be there?” she asks.
“Maybe,” he states gently. “Until then, you can have this.”
He places the necklace around her neck, and she looks at it with a smile.
“It’s so pretty. I want to wear it every day.”
“I hope you do.” He grins and accepts another hug, kissing her cheek and soaking in her love. He rises to let the conductor know we’re ready to get off. “Now, I have a special meal planned for my girls. If you’re lucky, there might be some peanut butter and cookie ice cream.”
“This is the best day ever!”
Ainsley runs off toward the dining table, leaving me and Luke under the lights of the glowing carousel.
“You did good, Luke Incendio.”
“About that,” he starts and croons, “Ainsley Incendio has a great ring to it.”
I place a hand on his chest. “Okay, caveman. What happened to saying you weren’t going to brand her like cattle?”
“Turns out, I’ve been wanting to brand a lot of things lately.” He winks.
twenty-six
I PUT AINSLEY TOsleep with her locket hanging from an old jewelry holder of mine that’s sitting on her end table. She wanted someplace special to lay her necklace at night because it is her most favorite thing in the world.
As I lie in her bed a few extra minutes, as I do every night to make sure she’s sound asleep, I look over at the locket. When I showered at Luke’s house weeks ago, I saw a bottle of what looked like white sand in the cabinet under the sink. I was curious about what it could be, and now, I wonder.
I wonder how long he’s had it there.