Page 105 of Silver Tears
She stands there, hand on her hip, looking down at me. “I told you he’d get bored. He needs someone older and more experienced.”
I sigh. I am so not in the mood for this right now. “Gloating is such an ugly trait. I’m really not in the mood for this right now!” I shove her books at her and barrel past her. This day can go to hell, and it can take everyone with it.
SEB
It’s been three weeks and two days. Three weeks of not seeing her or Chops. My life began to revolve around them so much that I no longer knew what to do in my free time. I watch her when she isn’t looking. Mills was chatting with a boy at lunch the other day and I had to fight the urge to go over there and threaten him. She isn’t mine anymore. She can talk to any guy she wants. I haven’t asked after her. It’s better this way. Better if we both move on with our lives. Mills is okay now. She has the love and support of her family. As for me, well, I can go back to how things were pre-Mills. The news that Mills and I were no longer together got around school pretty fast. The girls swarmed like vultures. Melody Walton slipped me a note in maths asking me to meet her behind the gym at lunch. But when lunch came, I didn’t meet her. I went to the cafeteria instead, so I could see Mills.
What happened with Mills has made me take a good hard look at myself. I didn’t like what I saw. Confessing my wrong doings and setting Mills free was the right thing to do. I don’t deserve someone as good and pure as her. I’m determined to change. To do better. Helping Chops and Mills gave me a genuine sense of purpose. It felt good to help others and make a difference. Which is why tonight after school I’m going to help run the soup kitchen over in the nearest town. Vee nearly fell off her chair when she asked me what I was doing later, and I told her my plans.
I called in to see Peggy at the weekend. She doesn’t have any family, and I know she must be missing Charlie as well. She has a hospital appointment next week, so I offered to take her. Peggy tried to protest and said she’d take the bus, but I wouldn’t take no for an answer. Besides, it’s not like I don’t have the time now.
Since I let Mills go, I’ve found it hard being around the others. Archer and Eliza are love-struck for one another, and Vee and Rafe seem to be closer than they have in the past. They make sure they always include me, but I feel like an outsider and I’m not sure why. Nothing has changed.
I’m walking to my car after school when my phone rings. Its mum. That’s odd.
“Sebastian!”
“Hey, Mum. Everything okay?”
“Is Vee with you? I need you both to come to up to the hospital. Mildred has had a stroke.”
I falter in my steps, a cool chill running through my body. “Is she okay?”
Mum pauses. “It’s not looking good. Just get here as soon as you can.”
I scan the school grounds for Vee and spot her walking ahead with Rafe and the others. I jog to catch up with them and, placing my arm over her shoulder, I tell her what’s happened.
Of course, we don’t travel alone to the hospital. Rafe, Archer, and Eliza all insist on coming with us. I leave my car at school, and we travel over in Rafe’s car, with Eliza and Archer following us in his car. I’m sick with worry. I adore my gran. She is everything to me. She’s the person I go to spend time with when life is shit. Well, she was until Mills came along.
We arrive at the hospital and find gran in a private room, hooked up to wires and machines. She looks so old and frail. Dad explains she has had a large stroke and a bleed on the brain. The prognosis is not good. We gather around her bedside. From the sympathetic words of the nurses, I know it’s only a matter of time. I hold her hand and tell her I’m here and that she has to get better. Vee sits beside me, weeping quietly, and she leans on my shoulder.
“I can’t lose her as well,” I say out loud rather than in my head. Vee looks up at me, crinkling her nose.
“What do you mean, as well?”
I blink. I hadn’t meant to say that. “Nothing.” I shrug. But I know what I meant. I meant I couldn’t lose her when I’d already lost Mills. Fuck, I miss her. I miss everything about her. I feel like I’ve lost my best friend. It’s not about the sex. I mean, we only had sex the one time. I just miss being around her, spending time with her, doing ordinary fun stuff. My life is miserable without her in it.
“I think I love her,” I mutter quietly. Conscious that dad is in the room, talking to someone on his phone.
“Who, Gran?” Vee asks me, looking at me like I’ve blown it.
“Mills,” I explain.
Vee’s eyes widen at my words. “Well, fuck.” She gasps and looks over at gran. “Sorry for swearing, Gran.” Vee turns her full attention to me. I thought she would make a joke or say something mean, but her response surprises me. “I knew it.”
“You did?” I arch my brow. How did she know?
She rolls her eyes. “I am your twin, you know! We have that whole telepathy thing going on. You were different with her in your life. Happier, calmer. What are you going to do?”
I sigh and shake my head, staring at gran. “Nothing. She deserves better than me.”
Vee drops my hand and puts her hand on her hip. Uh-oh, that’s not a good sign. “So, you’re what? Just going to let her go? Let some other guy swoop in there and steal her from under your nose?”
I shrug my shoulders. I can’t bear even thinking about seeing her with someone else. “Like I said, I don’t deserve her.”
“Yes, you do!” Vee says angrily, glancing at dad to check he isn’t listening. “You deserve to have someone in your life, Seb. So, you did a shitty thing, but you atoned for that when you supported her and her brother and helped them through everything. Have you asked her what she wants?”
I scoff. I didn’t need to ask. “She hates me, and I don’t blame her.”