Page 71 of Bad Wolf
“I just…can’t.”
He sighs and his lips turn down, “Come on. Let’s walk off some of the booze.”
“I’m too tired. Let’s just go back.”
“Okay. I’ll heat up some leftover pizza for you,” he says, and this time when he wraps his arm around my shoulders again, I let him.
* * *
Things go from bad to worse.
Karl, the owner of Full Moon, our team bar, called Casey a few nights ago because I was too hammered to walk home. Then Jason found me drinking at one a.m. the following night and proceeded to take my car keys from me.
The Demon now sits in Casey’s garage, and I couldn’t give less of a fuck. I’d never take the risk and drive under the influence, but Jason is a worrier to his core.
Some might say he’s caring and just looking after his brother who is obviously in crisis, I might say he’s a do-gooder with a savior complex just like the rest of them.
Casey has tried no less than fifty times to talk to me today, but I shrugged him off every time. Right now though, he seems to have backed me into a corner at the end of the corridor that leads to a dead end.
“Knox, wait. Just a sec.”
I still try to shove past him, “Fucking hell, just wait a goddamn second.”
“I have nothing to say to you. What are you not getting here? Please just go away.”
“This is killing me. Please talk to me.”
“Okay. Let’s talk. Let’s talk about how you brought her here. How much it’s fucking with my head. How out of everyone in this whole damn world, I thought you would always protect me. When instead, all that’s happening is I’m falling deeper and deeper into this mind fuck and it’s all your fuckin’ fault,” I spit.
“What are you talking about?” He just doesn’t get it.
“Take a look at me, Casey,” I beat my hand against my chest,” “You did this. You.”
“Knox, I don’t understand any of...” He shakes his head. Unable to fathom what has me so stressed out. Wound up. And if I’m honest, I’m hitting a whole new level. I’m twisting myself in knots and I’m starting to lose my grip on, well, everything.
I want her so badly.Need her.And I hate myself for it. Absolutely despise how weak I’m being.
“Why are youthisangry? I never thought in a million years you’d cope this badly with her being here. I knew you’d be mad. I knew it would dredge up the past and make you face it all again, but I didn’t think you’d be this much of a mess. You were just a kid back then. I thought—”
“She made me think she fucked another man. Someone I couldn’t stand, the night before we were due to leave for MSU,” I growl out.
“Shemade me believe she let that shitheadinsideof her when she was supposed to be mine. And then, just as I’m having the season of a lifetime playing withyou, she appears wreaking havoc. And you brought her here.”
“Bro, no. I—”
“God, I’m so pissed, I can’t even look at you,” I stride off, pushing him out of the way. Refusing to let myself glance back at him.
He doesn’t follow me.
* * *
As I stand for the national anthem, having not been called to start tonight, I pray this game goes quickly and I haven’t felt like that about hockey ever.
I’m just so fucking tired.
I can feel it in my bones as soon as I’m tapped on the shoulder that I’m spoiling for a fight. Here comes the something stupid Jason was worrying about the other night.
I can’t control my anger and make a bad hit just a few minutes in.