Page 37 of Don't Make Promises
My throat feels thick as a heaviness settles onto my chest. The guilt threatens to eat me from the inside out.
I watch, at a loss for words, as Sutton kicks off her patent black heels. Her hands move to the side of her black dress, pulling down the zip. As she uncovers her body, I feel nothing. No stirrings, no immediate lust for her. Nothing.
Sutton looks deflated, her shoulders stooped and her usual light dimmed. She looks broken and at that realization, my chest tightens. I’m to blame for this. Sutton moves to the bathroom pulling her hair out of its ponytail.
Before she can shut the door, I close the distance between us, resting my palm on the smooth surface. Stopping her from shutting me out. “Tell me how I can make it up to you.”
Looking up at me with glassy eyes, Sutton replies, “I don’t think you can, Noah. This was a really big deal for me.”
An almost desperate need to make it up to her makes my next words spill from my mouth. “Please, there has to be something.”
For reasons I can’t quite identify, I need to make this right, because the look on her face tells me she’s close to walking away. And if she does that then it’ll just be me and… fuck, I can’t even think of that. She has to stay.
Maybe if I wasn’t in a tunnel of desperation, I’d analyze my motives for wanting her to stay. But blinders have me focused on this one objective; nothing else matters.
Sutton’s eyes roam over my face. It feels like an eternity passes before she tentatively replies, “I guess, you could come out with me tomorrow night. It feels like we’ve lost that spark, Noah. And something needs to change because I can’t keep feeling like this. Ignored and unimportant.”
Without an ounce of hesitation, I reply, “Consider me there.”
A smile lights up her face, her relief at my agreement palpable. I’ve really been a terrible boyfriend. Whatever is missing between us, it needs to change. I know it does. But you can’t force feelings.
“Thank you, Noah. For this to work, we both need to make an effort and I’m very aware that neither of us has for a while. I’ll shower and then let Savannah know you’ll be coming with us.”
My face remains neutral as I nod in agreement with her while inside a heaviness settles in my core. The thought of working on our relationship doesn’t fill me with excitement. Instead, I feel a sense of dread. I move to the bed as Sutton closes the bathroom door. Collapsing back onto the mattress, my arms cover my face, leaving me in darkness.
A million things run through my mind, from work, to guilt over having missed Sutton’s dinner, to why I’m holding onto a relationship that seems to have died long ago.
It’s not fair on either of us.
FIFTEEN
Savannah
Iwince at the burn as another shot slides down my throat. Right now, I need all the liquid courage I can stomach. When we invited Sutton out, I never expected her to have Noah tag along.
Especially not after everything she said at Alex’s.
Alex tops up my shot glass, eyeing me cautiously as I throw it back and tip my head to the glass for more.
“Are you okay?” she asks tentatively.
I nod before replying, “Just keep ‘em coming.”
Popping the top back on the bottle, Alex moves it out of my reach before resting her hands on my shoulders. “I don’t know what is going on with you right now, but you look hot and we don’t want to get into hot mess territory so I’m cutting you off. Let’s get going.”
I consider her statement for a moment before deciding that she’s probably right. Nobody wants to hook up with a sloppy drunk.
Tonight, I’ve done my eye shadow in a smokey effect with my lips nude—because it’s one or the other, never both. Smokey eyes suit my dark blue irises and fair skin tone better anyway. My dress is a backless, long sleeved, bright blue mini dress and I’ve got a pair of white platform heels on my feet. I’m determined to have fun.
We grab our coats and make our way down to the street as Alex calls a cab through a service app. It doesn’t take long for us to be pulling up to Siren.
As Alex steps out, I hand over a twenty dollar bill to the driver, telling him to keep the change before I follow suit. Even though it’s still early September, we’ve had to throw on some warm coats to ward off the unseasonably cool evening air.
Alex stands in front of me as I swing my legs out and onto the sidewalk. She’s amazing, making sure I don’t show my goods to the partygoers.
Tonight, Alex has on a fitted white cut out dress that showcases both her curves and skin tone to perfection. She’s styled it with a pair of five-inch strappy gold heels that wrap around her calves and a gold clutch. Her caramel highlighted, chestnut brown hair falls down to her chest, each strand perfectly straight.
Linking arms, we sway our way to the front of the queue in a fit of giggles. We’ve agreed to meet Noah, Sutton, and Ben inside at the table we’ve reserved. I think they’ll have a lot of catching up to do with us after all the shots we had at Alex’s. Although I’m not sure Alex is as drunk as I am.