Page 60 of Don't Make Promises

No. He wouldn’t do that, because he knows that Jack might find out what exactly it was I saw.

Him.

Stroking himself.

Thinking aboutme.

I don’t think I’ll ever get the image out of my mind of him coming undone. My breasts feel heavy and an almost overwhelming urge to touch myself and relieve the coil of tension in my core nearly undoes me.

Goodness gracious, I need help.

I did not mean that. I’m not a pervert.Yes, I apparently am.

What I should have done is made it known that I was there; that he needed to make himself decent.But then I wouldn’t have known it was me he was thinking of.

I need to get out of my own head. Moving toward my bed, I flop back on it, my mind swirling with thoughts. Now, more than ever, I need to move out. How am I supposed to look him in the eyes having seen that?

What I need most though, is to let him go and give up on this silly little crush because it’s never going to be more. Although he rejected me again tonight, this time I was ready for it. And it didn’t hurt anywhere near as much as that first time.

Dragging myself up, I move around my room, getting ready for bed. Tomorrow night, when Ben and I go out, and Noah isn’t there to be a party pooper, I’ll find someone to go home with. At this point, anyone will do because the one man I want, I know I can’t have.

As I climb under the covers, I pull up the group chat on my phone. I’m so lucky to have found this group of people.

Savannah

@Ben You still okay to be my wingman tomorrow? No deserting me for some hot guy…like last time.

His response is almost immediate.

Ben

Count me in. If your boy Noah won’t satisfy you, we will find someone who will.

Savannah

He’s not mine.

No matter how much I wish that was the case.

Meghan

Keep her safe, Ben! And no abandoning her for a ‘sweet piece of ass’!

Ben

Come on, Megs. When have you ever known me to refer to a fine specimen of a man as a ‘sweet piece of ass’? You know me well enough by now to know you are all my preciouses.

Meghan

First of all, don’t call me Megs. Second of all, you literally said it last week at brunch and third of all, someone needs to confiscate your Lord of the Rings DVDs.

Alex

Who even uses DVDs anymore?

Ben

Definitely not me. I think Megs is showing her age.