Page 118 of Wright Together

It couldn’t work.

I sank onto the floor of my sister’s bedroom, resting my back against the wall. I dropped my head between my knees and cried. Not pretty crying. Just great, heaving sobs. Tears streaming down my face. My pain coming so quick and so fast that I couldn’t suck in enough air. In a matter of seconds, I was hyperventilating.

Bailey stood, paralyzed before me, fear in her expression. She’d never seen me like this. When she’d overdosed, I’d cried while she was in the hospital. She’d never witnessed it. I’d only shown her the strong, brave woman that I needed to be to get her clean. Now, I couldn’t hold back.

“If it looks too good to be true, it usually is. And Whitt and Wright Construction and this friend group—all of it—was too good to be true. I probably…probably”—I hiccuped—“never deserved it anyway.”

Bailey sank onto the floor next to me. Her face was hollow, and tears came to her eyes, too. “You deserve it, Eve. You do.”

“It doesn’t feel like it,” I said, clutching my chest. “Like my life was just getting so good. And now, that’s over.”

“I don’t want it to be over for you.”

“Yeah, well, I can’t leave you here with him, and I can’t bring you with me.”

Bailey opened her mouth and closed it. She looked down at the crescent moons on her wrist. Then the matching set on mine. And then she sighed, sniffled, and nodded. “I was high.”

“No shit,” I said with a tear-filled laugh. “I was there.”

“It’s just so hard.”

“Yeah, well, life is hard.”

“I wanted it to be easier,” she whispered.

“By doing drugs again?”

She shrugged. “Maybe.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Yeah. I was working so hard to get back to myself. And I still got that C in my summer class. Then, the volleyball coach said she didn’t think I should try out without talking to all the girls about it since I’d screwed up so bad last year. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. None of them understood what I’d gone through. The last thing I wanted to do was go before them and grovel.” She clenched her hands into fists and then released it. “Then, my anxiety spiraled again. I couldn’t handle it. I panicked. And then Trevor had some weed. We were making out, and I just thought a little wouldn’t hurt. It wouldn’t lead to anything else.”

“Until it did,” I said.

“Until it did.”

“I don’t want this for you,” I told her. “I want you happy and healthy and living your best life.”

“I want that for you, too. I love you, Eve. I just don’t know how to be who you want me to be.”

That sentence stretched between us.

Who I wanted her to be.

Not whoshewanted to be. We were still at a point where the drugs were easier than dealing with her problems. She hadn’t figured out how to do that, and she needed help to get there. And I was the only one who could give it to her.

I took her hand, linking our fingers together. Our crescent moons slid together to make one moon.

“I got you,” I said, another tear rolling down my cheek. “No matter what.”

“Don’t give up your life for me. I’m not worth it.”

“Oh, Bails, you’re worth it. We’ll figure it out.”

Bailey laid her head against my shoulder. “Thanks, sis.”

I stroked her hair off of her face. “I love you.”