Page 50 of Wright Together
I blew out a harsh breath and ran a hand down my face. “Just a lot on my mind.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” I said with a stilted laugh.
“Hey,” he said, taking my hand and drawing me closer. “You can talk to me if you need to talk. You look like someone kicked your puppy.”
“I don’t have a puppy.”
He tilted his head to the side. “You know what I mean.”
God, I wasn’t ready for this. I couldn’t spew all of my family drama to him. Yeah, he didn’t have the perfect family or anything, but it was too much. I didn’t want to do this. I wanted things to be light and easy between us. Flirty and fun and…uncomplicated.
“Maybe this is just a booty call.” I tried for levity.
Whitt pursed his lips. “As much as I want you, I don’t think that’s why you’re here. You could have come over at any point for that, and you never have. What’s going on?”
What could I say? My life was a disaster, and the minutes when I could pretend it wasn’t with him made it better. I was barely coasting, and I didn’t know how to fix the hole I’d dug myself into. Sometimes, it felt like my entire world was falling apart, and I was clinging to the surface to keep afloat.
I stared up into his earnest face and knew I couldn’t say any of that. I turned my back on him. This was hard enough for me without looking into his pretty face. What if I saw pity there? What if he thought less of me? God, I wasn’t the type of girl to care what anyone thought. I was fearless. I was strong. I was fiercely independent. And I hated myself for every one of those adjectives right now.
“It’s just…do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try at something, it isn’t good enough?”
Whitt clucked his tongue, as if he were really contemplating the question. “Well, I did. All the time growing up.”
I turned slowly. “Really? Mr. Responsibility?”
“You don’t know what it was like growing up with my dad. West and I, we were always trying to be the family he wanted to come home to. There was nothing we could have done differently to make him choose us. And we didn’t even know he had a whole other life.”
I hugged my arms around my waist. “Yeah, that sounds terrible.”
“Eve, what’s going on?”
I opened my mouth to tell him, but the words wouldn’t come out. Whitt could talk about everything so easily. Could discuss being the other family like it was some minor thing that had happened to him. I couldn’t even bring myself to utter my dad’s name. I hated talking about him. I hated him. I swore under my breath as the shaking took over my limbs.
“Hey, hey, hey,” he said, taking my hands. “It’s okay. Breathe.”
But I couldn’t breathe. Tears were threatening to fall again. I had to hold it together. I had to be strong. If I let go, even for a second, I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to get myself back together.
“Baby,” he crooned softly.
He tipped my chin up to look into his bottomless ocean eyes. Tears lined my bottom lids. I blinked rapidly to clear them, but it did no good, as they collected in my lashes.
“You don’t have to shoulder everything alone.”
“Don’t I?”
“Not anymore.”
“We’re not even…” I trailed off. “We’re not…”
“It doesn’t matter,” he told me. “Whatever we are isn’t what’s important right now. I’m here for you regardless.”
At those words, the tears finally did spill down my cheeks. I leapt forward, throwing my arms around his shoulders. He wrapped his tight around my waist. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried. I hadn’t even done it at Gram’s funeral. I’d held it all in and let it simmer on low. For so long, the world had gotten the hardened version of my vulnerable heart. I hated showing it to anyone, and yet here I was, unleashing on Whitt.
When I tried to pull back, he scooped me up in his arms and carried me in a cradle to the couch.
“I don’t…you don’t have to…”