Page 46 of I Think He Knows
While Carter was speaking a few moments ago, kindly reassuring me that this was all his fault and he’d fix it… all I could think about was the fact that he flew all the way to Atlanta to tell me that he was fake-marrying Freya.
Why?
Why not text or call? A simpleOh hey bestie, just a heads up, if you see any headlines about me being engaged to a world-famous, People-magazine-certified sexy pop star, don’t sweat. They’re fake. Just a little publicity stunt, not actual upcoming nuptials I forgot to invite you to. Hope the date with the doctor went well.
And something occurred to me: he must’ve flown all this way to make sure that my feelings were spared. He knows how badly dating has been going for me, and maybe he didn’t want me, even for a second, thinking that he, in turn, was so blissfully happy with his new girlfriend, he’d proposed to her.
That’s the kind of friend Carter is—one who can have a million important things going on in his life, but he still spends his time and energy on the insignificant little problems of the people closest to him.
And that’s when I realized that getting over Carter—finding a man as good as him, one who I could remotely see myself falling for—is an entirely fruitless idea.
Stupid, in fact.
I didn’t have to go on on a bunch of disastrous dates with other men to know that Carter is the best man there is. And my most disastrous date ended with me sleeping next to Carter, anyway. Shifting even closer to him.
So maybe, just maybe, I need to change tactics here. Switch it up.
Instead of trying to get over Carter by dating other people, maybe I need to get over him by pretend datinghimand getting him out of my system that way. I know it’s fake, but it could be exactly what I need to do to get rid of these feelings. See what it would be like to date Carter without actually dating him.
And if my playing the part of his fiancée helps Carter get the role he so desperately wants, it’s just all the better, isn’t it? No matter how I feel about him working too much lately, I know how important this is to him. Winning this role would be the crowning achievement of his Hollywood career, and I could never forgive myself if I stood in the way of him getting there.
Or maybe it’s the Corona doing the talking.
Who knows? Not me.
“Okay, Donovan. I’ll bite.” Carter tilts his head and studies me, his blue eyes questioning. “We stay fake engaged, you make some public appearances with me and come to my premiere, I go to the daddy daughter campout with Legs… And then what?”
“We call it off when you want a real girlfriend?”
Carter narrows his eyes. “No, I mean what about you? Like, what are you getting out of this?”
“Well, Legs—”
“Not Allegra, Lana Mae. What areyougetting out of this?”
I can hardly tell him the half-baked plan I’ve just semi-tipsily concocted, so I throw out, “I get to help my friend?”
“Try again.”
“I get…”Think, Lana, think.Something he’ll actually buy.“I get clout,” I finally say.
Carter’s eyes narrow further. “Clout?”
“Yeah,” I go on, suddenly inspired. I take a sip of liquid courage, then continue, “Instead of being the weird single mom who sets herself on fire, I’ll be Carter Callahan’s ex-fiancée. Surely, that’s a way more desirable angle when I hit the dating world after this is over. You’ll be the Jess to my Rory. My bad boy boyfriend who gives me the edge I so desperately need to finally find my Logan.”
Which is probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever said because I’ve always been Team Jess.
But Rory doesn’t end up with Jess, does she? He just helps her get over her cheating ex, becomes one of her best friends, and though they fall in love, he eventually leaves.
And she moves on.
“I never liked Logan.” Carter frowns. “And Lana, for what it’s worth, I think you’re set in the clout department. You were the one who broke it off with that Drew guy. You’re obviously desirable.”
“Sometimes I don’t feel it.” I chew on my bottom lip. This is weird conversation territory for us, but I do want to be honest with him about this. “I’ve been anxious on a lot of these dates. I don’t feel particularly sexy or confident… but maybe pretending to be your fiancée will give me a boost. Brush me up on my dating skills and all that.”
His frown deepens. “Well… pretending to be my fiancée would mean that you can’t date anyone else, at least not publicly, for awhile. And that’s not what you want, is it? You’ve been dating like crazy lately, and wasn’t the goal of that to find something like what your brothers have?”
I pick at my fingernails as I consider this. Before my first date a couple of months ago, I gave everyone around me a half-truth. I mean, I couldn’t exactly tell people that I was finally ready to move on and get over my romantic feelings for my best friend. So instead, I leaned on the fact that both of my brothers are now married and happy, and I’m ready to find my own happiness.