Page 80 of I Think He Knows

I get to my feet, and follow her into the pink tent next to mine.

“Wee!” She dives onto her air mattress (which doesn’t groan like mine did) and scrambles into her unicorn bag. “I still can’t believe I have my very own unicorn sleeping bag and tent!”

“I wanted you to have the best stuff for the campout.”

She flashes me her gap-teeth in the glow of the little wind-up camping light. “I have the best everything. I’m so happy you came tonight.”

“Wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

She snuggles her head into her pillow and sighs. “Do you think it could happen like in the movie?”

“What’s that?” I ask as I crunch myself into a seated position on the neon pink floor next to her mattress. I link my arms around my knees, feeling not unlike a giant oaf from a fairytale. But it’s worth it—I’m sure all the best actual dads chat to their daughters while tucking them in.

“Like… do you think if I planned to set my mom up with someone, my plan could work? Like in the movie?”

I go very still as I try to read her face. Try to figure out what cogs are turning in her head right now. “You want to set your mom up?” I prod gently.

“Yeah.” She waits a beat. “With you.” Her voice rises with hope.

And I’m touched. Like, actually touched. In a way that makes my chest warm and my stomach buoyant. She would really want that?

“Well.” I lean back and prop myself up on my hands. “That would depend on what your mother wants. You’d only want to set her up with someone shetrulywants to be with in order for her to be happy.”

“She wants to be withyou. For real.”

“Is that something you think, or something you hope, Allegra?” I ask, my voice soft.

“Both?” She shrugs. “I dunno much about love except that my uncle Liam used to be sad and grumpy, and then he married Auntie Annie, and now, he’s way less sad and grumpy. And my mom’s not grumpy, but sometimes, I think she’s sad. Unless you’re around. Then she’s happy.”

There’s a lump growing in my throat. “She makes me happy, too. You and your mom both do.”

“So why not be my new daddy for real? You could actually marry my mom.”

I let out a long, low breath, my mind full of Lana Mae’s smile and that one crooked tooth of hers I love so much. “It’s complicated, Allegra... Your mom is very important to me. She’s my best friend. If I told her I wanted something more and she didn’t feel the same, or if things didn’t work out with us, well…”

I can’t lose the most important person in the world to me. She’s everything to me, and I’d rather have only her friendship than risk loving her and losing her altogether.

“Then you’d go back to being only friends. Right?” Allegra finishes, nose screwed up in confusion. “I don’t think it’s complicated at all. My friend Daria used to like Jack. I mean, everyone at schoollovesJack, but then, she and Jack started to hate each other when Jack and his friends were hogging the soccer fields at recess. But now they’re friends again. So,” she concludes. “No matter what, you can always go back to being friends, right?”

Those innocent little words, spoken by a nine-year-old girl wise beyond her years, hit me square in the chest. We say our goodnights and I give her a hug before returning to my tent, but those words run through my mind over and over on repeat.

Because she’s not wrong. Lana Mae and I have a decade of friendship behind us. I was there for her first heartbreak, present in the waiting room while she had her daughter, sitting right behind her at her mom’s funeral. And she’s been there for me through everything, too. Supporting my career, cheering me on, believing the best in me when the rest of the world saw the worst.

It’s like her friendship is the puzzle piece that slotted in next to me. Fit with me so I was no longer alone. But maybe I’ve been so focused on hanging on to that one puzzle piece, keeping it next to me, that I haven’t considered the possibility that I could be missing out on building the entire puzzle with her—having friendship, family,andlove around me. Aroundus.

My friendship with Lana Mae is a permanent fixture in my life. No matter what.

And I love her, no matter what.

So, really, no matter the outcome, what’s the worst that could happen if I just… go for it?

26

LANA MAE

“Thank you so much for coming at the last minute.” Mona’s voice, for once, completely matches her facial expression. And for once, both look entirely sincere. “I really appreciate it.”

I pull on my brand newI’m a Mom Volunteer!tee over my long-sleeve shirt and smile at her. “No problem. I wasn’t busy.”