Page 93 of I Think He Knows
Carter gives me a hot look that sears my insides. “I might have to learn how to use it, just for my latest guest.”
“Oh goodness, no. Please no. Call Anthony to come make me a latte in the morning. I like my coffee drinkable.”
“And I like my women sassy and insulting of my barista skills.” Carter laughs as he puts an arm around me and slides me across the backseat until I’m curled up against him. His touch sends a hot shiver through me and I bite down on my bottom lip like I’m forcibly trying to contain my feelings from spilling out of my mouth.
We haven’t kissed since that magical makeout in his pool two days ago, and I feel permanent pins and needles of anticipation for it to happen again. We’ve done lots of fun activities with Legs, cooked dinner together, and swam in his pool. But there’s been no more kissing.
I’m hoping that he’s simply waiting until he gets me alone. Mostly because I don’t thinkIcan wait any longer.
“Oh, heads up, Anthony’s coming over when we get to mine to review our schedule for the visit and our wardrobe for the premiere.”
So much for being alone.
“Sweet, I’d love to see him,” I chirp. It’s not a lie, exactly… I’d just prefer not to seeanyonebut Carter when we get to his place. For a while.
“Anything in particular you want to do while you’re here?” Carter asks, absentmindedly running his fingers through my hair and smoothing it as he talks.
I love that he’s aware that this is a big deal for me to be here, that I’m the ironic travel agent who’s barely traveled. But, as excited as I am to be in California, I’ve hardly glanced out the window of the vehicle. Being with Carter tops whatever setting we’re in.
I move my eyes slowly over his chiseled features. So familiar, yet still so breathtaking after all these years. “What’syourfavorite thing to do when you’re out here?”
He pauses for a moment, his expression almost unsure. Then, he turns to me with his trademark, dimpled grin. “I went to Malibu and surfed for the first time when I was here last. It was awesome.”
“Let’s do that, then.”
“You don’t want to go to Rodeo Drive or Santa Monica Pier or Disneyland?”
“I do. But I like the surfing idea more. I want us to do the things that make you happy, the things that you enjoy doing whenever you’re out here. Get a sneak peek of your LA life.” I pause. “If that’s what you want, too?”
Carter gives me a curious look, like something’s running through his mind. But then, he nods and opens his phone. “Surfing, it is. I’ll set it up now. We might even be able to get over there this afternoon.”
While Carter types away, I let my gaze drift out the window. I register the scenery around me for the first time, reflecting again on how weird it is to be here with him. Not a bad weird though. Never a bad weird when it comes to Carter.
But is it weird forhimthat I’m finally here, in this part of his world? Right after we kissed?
A kiss that he hasn’t brought up. But then again, I haven’t brought it up either…
How does one approach this kind of a conversation? Is it entirely unusual to say“Oh hey, that was an insanely amazing, world spinning, groundbreaking kiss and I’d love to do it again but I can’t tell if you want to as well, so just let me know.”
As though he can hear my thoughts, Carter’s hand moves from my hair and slides around my waist, giving me a little squeeze. I feel his heartbeat through his shirt, warm and steady and reassuring.
Everything's okay.
I need to get out of my head and enjoy this trip to LA. Make memories. After all, attending the premiere completes the last step of our fake engagement agreement. Maybe Carter’s waiting until we’re over that hurdle to talk about what’s going on with us. If he doesn’t bring it up then, I will.
It’ll be much less confusing when the pretenses are stripped away and it’s only me and him.
Him and me.
No matter how many miles separate us.
31
CARTER
Have you ever wanted someone so badly that everything inside you aches to touch them, to hold them, to kiss them? Wanted them so much that the mereideaof proximity to this person flares desire inside you that’s almost untameable in its urgency, its intensity?
That’s Lana Mae for me. Now that I’ve actually allowed myself to lean into all the love and desire I’ve carried within me for so many years, I’ve discovered that the desire runsdeep. I don’t know if I could ever separate myself from it. It’s part of me, carved and inked into all my grooves and edges.