Page 99 of I Think He Knows
All the focus will be on me at the premiere, and I want this to be abouther. So, tomorrow, I will find the perfect way to tell Lana Mae everything I’m feeling. Let her know that I’ll move as slow and respectfully as she needs me to, physically, mentally, and emotionally. As long as I’m with her.
I hold her close for another few moments before I drag myself out of bed, letting her sleep. I shower, dress, then place an order on DoorDash for coffee to be delivered straight to our door—venti cinnamon dolce latte, extra hot. Just how she likes it. And also because I still literally have no idea how the coffee machine works.
Then, I text Anthony.
Carter:Hey, slight change of plan. Wanna grab a coffee with me before the meeting this morning?
Anthony: Sure thing. Name a place and time. Lana going to be okay on her own?
Carter: Yup. Made sure she has coffee and everything.
Anthony:Please tell me you didn’t make it.
Carter:Don’t worry, Starbucks made it.
Anthony:Phew, I like her alive.
I couldn’t agree more. And as I sneak out of my apartment quietly so as not to wake her, I’m filled with a brand new sense of purpose. I’m no longer nervous and uncertain, but sure that the path that lies ahead has both been chosen by me, and chosen correctly.
It’s almost poetic that Lana’s here in LA to close this chapter with me. To stand next to me at a movie premiere tonight and taste a piece of the life I had here before it’s gone. That way, when we look back, we can smile at the fact that we shared a part of it together.
Because moving forward, if it’s away from her, I don’t want it. I want Lana Mae everywhere I go, and in everything I do.
And I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen. No matter where I am on this planet,sheis home to me.Sheis my happy.
Her, and Allegra.
My found family.
And I’m a man who plans—no,vows—to always be there for his family.
34
LANA MAE
It’s wild to think that, a few weeks ago, I couldn’t believe that people went out on Thursday nights.
And now, here I am in a limousine on my way to the world premiere of a blockbuster movie. With the most handsome man in the world at my side.
Thursdays have certainly come a long way since air-fryer potatoes and Ina Garten cooking shows.
“You okay?” Carter has an arm around me, and his fingertips are moving up and down my bare skin, creating a patchwork of goosebumps. I’ve got a slinky cream silk dress on (picked out by the ever-reliable Anthony), and Carter’s wearing the absolute crap out of a custom-tailored suit—black pants and a jacket over a black dress shirt, unbuttoned at the collar and showing the most delicious sliver of tanned chest that makes me want to scream “stop the car!” to our limo driver so I can climb on top of him (Carter, not the driver) and lick it. Which is honestly pretty indicative of my current state of mind.
I.e. a tad unhinged.
“Um, I’m not sure.” I look into Carter’s blue, blue eyes as I say this, and the buzz that floods through me feels like shooting a triple espresso.
Make that alotunhinged.
“How can I make it better?” He slides his hand onto my thigh. Squeezes. And then, he smiles. Really smiles.
In fact, he’s been in a remarkably good mood all day. He got back from his meeting with theIf Onlypeople this morning surprisingly quickly, and when I asked him how it went, he twinkled as he said, “Really great”. My stomach rolled a little as he said the words, but I pushed those feelings away. After last night, I know everything’s going to be okay between us, no matter what happens.
We then hopped in his truck and drove down to Huntington Beach. Spent the rest of the morning eating açai bowls while watching beach volleyball games and strolling the boardwalk. And got absolutely soaked when Carter unceremoniously picked me up and ran into the water, plunging us both into the shallows fully clothed (which made me splutter), before he kissed the absolute hell out of me (which totally made up for it, and then some).
We got back to his place after lunch, and I spent the afternoon getting my hair and makeup done. Carter, meanwhile, took a quick shower then laid on the couch next to me so we could watchGilmore Girlstogether.
It’s been a pretty damn perfect day so far. A fairytale. And now, I get to stand next to the man I love at the premiere of his newest movie.