Page 38 of Crash & Burn

“Oh, umm...” I trail off sleepily. Waking up to Callan’s face directly above mine has my heart on a rollercoaster. From a terrifying dream to a dreamy reality. “I’m fine, just a nightmare.” I give a slight smile and his face softens from concerned to content.

Callan opens his mouth to say something when suddenly, I smell smoke.

“Is something burning?” I ask as I pull the covers off of me.

“Shit!” Callan runs out of the room, and I lazily follow him, trying to wipe the sleep from my eyes and the embarrassment from my face.

I follow Callan into the kitchen to see him throwing a pan into the sink, turning the water on over it. Smoke emanates from the pan and the fire alarm starts going off. He grabs a hand towel and waves it in the air aimlessly.

“Open that door!” he shouts as he nods to the sliding glass door. I run over and open it and eventually the smoke calms and the blaring of the alarm stops.

I give him a confused look as he pulls his hands through his hair. I glance into the sink, and there the culprit lies.Bacon. He burned bacon. I stifle a giggle and Callan turns his attention to me, looking a little annoyed. But I can’t help it. It’s kind of funny.

And then his laughter, small but husky, breaks the silence and we both look at each other wildly as we laugh together. My giggle turns to cracked chuckles which then turns to cries. Manically, tears start falling from my eyes and Callan’s laugh disappears as he walks in my direction.

He takes me in his arms, the pressure feeling comforting, safe, unjudged, as he squeezes me tight in his hold.

It’s new to feel his touch like this, in an intimate embrace. It creates more of an emotional tide within me that I can’t seem to control.

“You’re okay,” he says calmly. His hand strokes my back up and down and my tears start to relent. I pull myself out of his reach knowing I only want to dig myself deeper into him.

“I’m so sorry,” I breathe out. He pulls his fingers up to my cheeks and wipes the tears away.

“Don’t be sorry,” he stresses to me gently.

“I’m a mess.” I try to hold back more tears, not wanting to feel vulnerable in front of Callan but after everything that’s been going on, crying feels like the only way to release my feelings.

“Hey, we’re allowed to be a mess from time to time.” His words are soft and sincere and it’s nothing I’ve ever heard him say before. He’s different, not as hard or rough around the edges. Not firm or bossy. “I’m here if you want to talk about it. Or anything really.” His hand is still warm on my back, and he uses the other to push hair out of my face, his fingers brushing the skin on my cheeks bringing even more heat to them. The gesture seems intimate, and the assault of butterflies in my belly takes over.

“I think I’d rather talk about how unsafe it is to leave bacon unattended for too long.” I try to joke, and I receive a quiet giggle from Callan’s throat.

He pulls his hand away from my face and studies me. I do the same with him. The sunlight coming in from behind me highlights his golden skin and five o’clock shadow. His hazel eyes are the most affected by the glow of the sunrise. They shine gold and green as he gazes at me.Do you see me the same way I see you?

Callan lowers his face to mine, my breathing suddenly quickening. I can feel my heartbeat in my chest and goosebumps rushing down my skin. He brings his hand back up to my face as he lets his thumb caress my chin gently. His touch ignites something in me. A flame. It’s warm and wicked.

This is it. He’s going to kiss me. And then finally, maybe, I can’t figure out why I have this intense want to defy his rules and be the girl he breaks them for.

I look up to him, our eyes so close and our noses are touching. I wiggle slightly in his touch, giving him the silent permission he may be waiting for, to make the next move.Kiss me.

But as quickly as the flame ignites, it’s extinguished. Callan’s hand is no longer on my skin and the warmth of his body against mine goes icy cold as he steps away from me. Disappointment pours over me.

“You should get home.” Callan takes another step back and leans against the wall next to us, throwing his head back gently until he’s looking up at the ceiling. His chest flexes as he puts his arms behind his back. I can’t help but stare at him. I wish I could read his mind. Is he mad? Is he annoyed? Is he going to pretend like none of this happened? There’s no way he didn’t feel that.

But he’s right. This is stupid and wrong and as much as I can’t deny my attraction to him, it’s just that. There’s no way a man like Callan wants anything to do with a girl like me.

Without arguing, I gather my things. My dress is folded on his side table with the rest of my things neatly placed together in his entryway. He must have cleaned up after me last night. As if I couldn’t feel any more embarrassed right now. To top it off, I’m still in his oversized clothes from last night and will resemble the walk of shame back home in them.

I turn and start walking toward the elevator door, but I feel a tug at my wrist before I make it too far. I’m turned around with force as my eyes meet Callan’s bare chest, his body so close to mine again. I try to breathe, almost choking on air when I draw my eyes up to meet his, fierce and fiery.

“You were going to let that boy fuck you last night,” he says sharply, almost angrily, as he stands in front of me. I don’t know where to look. His eyes, his chest, his growing erection in his taut, gray sweatpants. No matter where my eyes roam, I feel weak.

I think back to what he’s talking about. I was. I was going to let that guy from the party do whatever he wanted. I thought I needed to get the thoughts of Callan out of my head. Besides, I was pretty tipsy.

“I just, I was drunk. I don’t really remember much.” I lie. I was drunk, but I definitely remember wanting someone to fuck Callan out of my system.

His hand releases my wrist and makes its way up my arm, his fingers treading lightly along my skin leaving goosebumps in their wake.

“What are you doing?” I muster out. God, his touch feels like fire on my skin.