Page 119 of Rise & Fall
I can tell that Mitch has been here recently. A pang of guilt crawls its way up my neck as I stare at the lone flower he laid in the tiny vase next to the headstone.
Dakota and I don’t say much. She just holds me while I stare at what’s left of my mother. She rests her head on my upper arms, fingers linked while she holds my wrist with her other hand.
“She raised a beautiful man,” Dakota whispers, and I can hear the sorrow and truth that laces her tone, giving me a sense of longing as I hear that someone recognizes what I’ve known all along.
“I used to think she’d be proud of me for sticking around with Jessica, even though it never worked out. But I’d think she would be even more proud of where I am right now.” I squeeze her hand a little, peeking down to see a tear form in her eye as she pulls a warm smile across her face.
“You don’t need to say all that.” Dakota tries to wipe her tears subtly. But I catch the movement and turn her to face me as I gently cradle her face in my hands.
“I’m not just saying it, Dakota. I mean it. I know it all seems sudden, but I think we’re past that now. You being in my life has made me the happiest I’ve ever been, and I didn’t think I needed someone like you. I thought I would move on from my divorce and not need love to complete my life. But I was mistaken. My heart needed yours, Firefly.” I lean down and take her lips in mine, pressing a soft kiss against her mouth.
She’s holding my hands with hers as I caress her cheeks, feeling an overwhelming amount of something I’ve never felt before. But it’s fucking nice.
She pulls away from this kiss, gazing at me with an expression that’s colored with belonging. I know, because I feel it too.
“You don’t know how good it feels to hear you say those words, old man.” She closes her eyes for a brief moment, opening them back up as she drops my hands from her face.
“It’s the truth.”
She turns back around and peers out over the headstones laid out before us.
“Now, can I take you somewhere?” she asks, but she already starts her path ahead of us and I simply follow beside her.
“You know I made an OBGYN appointment.” We walk down the narrow road a few lots up. “To confirm the pregnancy,” she adds.
“Are you nervous?” I ask her, my step in tandem with hers.
“Not nervous, more than I am confused. My doctor was sure of my infertility. It just doesn’t make sense.” Her head is down as she leads us up one more lot to the next set of headstones and my eyes look around for where she could possibly be taking me, sensing the familiarity of the area.
“Can I ask you something?” She stops in her tracks and turns to face me. I nod at her question. “When you told me that you wanted us to be exclusive, what did you mean?” Her eyes focus on my lips, whether or not she is waiting for an answer in words or an answer in the form of a kiss, I don’t know.
So I opt for both.
I lean down to her, gripping her chin with my index and thumb lifting her mouth up to mine. I take her next breath, swallowing it down as I kiss her with everything I’ve got.
She moans at the perusal of my tongue, begging to get inside her.
I let go of our kiss, feeling the burn of my lips, seeing her bring her fingers to her swollen ones.
“It means you’re mine, baby girl.”
“I think I understand that, but this whole time I just wasn’t sure and I guess now, I want the legit definition of exclusive given the newest development and all.” Her admission makes me smile, almost laugh. “I’ve not been with anyone else, I swear. But last night when I was talking to my mom about us, not about the pregnancy test or anything, I didn’t know if I was allowed to use the term boyfriend or not,” she adds and she’s damn fucking cute.
“Dakota, remember when I was in your kitchen that day when Asher was at your place?” She nods. “I called myself your boyfriend because that’s what I see myself as to you. I didn’t think I needed to ask formally, and now I know I probably should have.” I yank her by her wrists gently to pull her into me.
She wraps her hands around my neck as I grip her hips a little too hard in my opinion, but I need her to feel my words.
“Dakota, there is no one else. There will never be anyone else. I am your boyfriend, and you are my girlfriend. And I’m sorry I wasn’t clear about that before. But this is it for me. At least until you tell me you’re done.” Her breath hitches yet again as she bows to rest her forehead against my collarbone, and I feel so full having her in my arms.
She lifts her head back up and smiles at me, pulling herself up to kiss the side of my mouth.
“I didn’t actually need you to ask me formally, old man. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.” She turns around and walks down an aisle of the lot we’ve stopped at.
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“So, what did you tell your mom about us?” We reach a headstone, and she pauses at the foot of it. But I don’t look down just yet, keeping all of my attention on her as she sucks on her bottom lip.